Pushy Parenting

I'm beginning to think I might be one of those pushy parents. I'm pretty convinced one of my friends thinks I am. You see, my daughter's been at nursery since she was a year old, she's now three. All of her friends the same age are only just now going, which would be fine but I sent her to nursery mainly for the social aspect and the structure, not because I needed the childcare.

Recently I've started Moo on learning her letters, phonics etc. when I mentioned this o my friend, she was shocked that I would be staring something so early. Obviously I don't consider three too early to start the learning-to-read journey, but even her nursery teacher said it was perfectly normal for children to go to school not knowing their alphabet. Moo's been leaning the very basics in phonics since she was two (through toys), it's only now I'm starting to get serious with books, flash cards etc. we have the Biff, Chip & Kipper starter set and cards as well as the first stage Letterland book.

Which leads me to wonder...am I a pushy parent? Moo's been learning the very basics in phonics since she was two (through toys), it's only now I'm starting to get serious with books, flash cards etc. we have the Biff, Chip & Kipper starter set and cards as well as the first stage Letterland book. When did everyone else start?

Clare

Take Care of You

'Person or dragon, tiny or tall. Sometimes we stumble and sometimes we fall. Everyone gets hurt sometimes.'

Yes, the wonderfully poignant line above comes from the ever-charming Disney cartoon 'Doc McStuffins', a television show aimed at pre-schoolers about a little girl who is a doctor to toys. I learn a lot from Doc and her little gang of stuffed comrades, but today I want to talk about something that even I needed reminding; how to take care of myself.

Any parent will know that when you have a baby, you lose your marbles a bit and forget things. When it's a subsequent child, double that confusion and general uselessness! As I've mentioned on here before I have become slow, unorganised and my life has been thrown into chaos. Utter chaos. Where before my kitchen was spotless, my daughter's room tidy and my laundry neatly folded, I now forget to have a shower on occasion. 

But it's so much worse than this.mif you follow me on Twitter then you might've seen that I was recently quite unwell. From dehydration and exhaustion. Yes, the latter is to be expected with a breast-fed newborn who feeds loads, but the former? Well yes...you guessed it. I was forgetting to drink. I was so wrapped up in looking after my two little angels, showing them off, keeping up with my friends (most of which have one if any children) that I was forgetting to look after myself. It took me over a week to get my fluid levels back up to where they should be and the headaches and dizziness to stop. A one point it was so bad, I fell down the stairs at 5am with Bear in my arms. Both of us were unharmed for the most part; I sprained my ankle and knee...Bear thought it was great fun!

I'm twenty-seven years old, how can I forget to drink? Everyone asked me how I could possibly of just not been drinking? I really don't have a valid reason. My children just became too important for me to look after myself properly.

But that's the problem. My children are my world, I would literally do anything for them, like any other parent, but what use to them am I if I'm so unwell I can't do anything for them? If I can't play or read to them or even bend down to give them a bath?

That's why, taking care of yourself when you're pregnant, a new mother or an old hand at parenting, is so, so important. You are not neglecting your children by taking 'me' time. You're doing them a favour. I needed to learn the hard way that in order to put my children first, I had to come a close second!

Take care of you!

Clare

Mothercare Born to... Range

I recently blogged about Save the Children and one of their current projects 'Build it for Babies' and mentioned that Mothercare had now launched a children's clothing range to raise money for the charity.

The range is called 'Born to...' and £1 from every item goes direct to Save the Children with items raging in size from newborn to eight-years. The money raised will go to help children in need both at home and abroad.

Moo's 'Born to Love' top is a beautiful powder-blue long-sleeved top, the words 'born to' printed on in silver whilst the 'love' is much larger and made up of pink sequins (and vaguely reminiscent of the very famous Robert Indiana pop-art sculpture). This is aged 2-3 years which fits really well considering how tall she is and that she's almost three.

Bear has a gorgeous baby-blue sleep suit which I must confess is my favourite of the collection because both the illustration on the front and the over-all design is just lovely. It reads 'Born to Dream' which also touches me on such an emotional level as we are so fortunate to be who we are and live where we live. My children can dream away to their hearts content and hopefully, one day, achieve those dreams. So many millions cannot. The suit has brilliant, striped, contrasting sleeves and the cuffs fold-over to create built-in scratch kits which is essential for any newborn. Bear also has a two-pack of bibs, one adorned with stars and the other reading 'Born to Smile' which are both thick and very absorbent.

Of the entire range, I do much prefer the baby items to those for older children, but this is purely down to personal taste as they're a bit more whimsical in design which appeals to me more. Here are my pros and cons...

Pros.

- All items retain their softness and shape when washed, even without fabric conditioner.

- Beautifully designed baby items.

- Great value clothing starting at £3 with £1 from each item going to charity.

- Trusted brand.

- Bibs super absorbent of liquids.

- Generous sizing.

Cons.

- I'm not a huge fan of sequins, especially on children. I find them rough to the touch and unpleasant to hug but this is a personal preference.

- Moo's top sadly stained on it's first wear and no stain-remover or method will eradicate it completely (washed out of other items no problem).

- Sleepsuit poppers up at the bottom rather than down the front, once again it's a personal preference but I feel like I'm pulling the skin down a sausage. A wiggly, often crying, sausage.

You can shop the complete range and read more about it here.

Clare

Please note these items were sent to us for the purpose of review. All thoughts, opinions and findings are my own.

The Second Child

Having a baby is a big change in anyone's life; whether it's your first or your fifth. Towards the end of my pregnancy with Bear, I started to worry that I might not be able to love him as much as I loved Moo. The love I have for my daughter, as with any parent and child, is immeasurable and I struggled to understand how I could possibly have room in my heart or another.

When he was born. I'll be honest, put my hands up and say, that or the first hour I was in such shock from the birth, I didn't know how I felt when I looked at him. I wasn't over-whelmed with love or emotion when I gazed at him, though I know that I loved him, was proud of him...but it didn't come flooding over me like it had our first, perhaps it was the trauma, I don't know. Whatever it was, it quickly passed and I love the little squidge with everything that I have.

It's hard, having a second baby. Harder than having the first...emotionally and physically. When Moo was born I could sit and stare at her for hours with nowhere to be, nothing to do...just sit in with her or go for a walk with her...but with Bear I don't have that luxury...I have to divide my attention, attempt to maintain constant and steady stimulation to a toddler and be every thing I was before, plus more!  I am still my daughter's teacher, dresser, put-to-bedder, chef, entertainer and everything in between whilst breast-feeding and bonding with a new baby who needs me. 

When I was younger I used to look after a brother and sister. She was the eldest at seven, he was five and I remember the favouritism being so apparent that some days it would bring me to tears to witness. Their mother adored the son, showered him with love and praise whilst the daughter was constantly left on the outside. I hated their mother for it and now more so as a parent myself. Now the mother of two, I understand slightly how and why she felt that way; it is so, so easy to get cross and impatient with your eldest when a new baby comes along. Moo has been trying at times in the past week, waking in the night and refusing to go back to bed because I'm up with her brother, or blatantly not listening to instructions...and let's not even discuss the lack of bladder control that's suddenly taken over her. Team that with the hormones, the sleep deprivation and exhaustion of being a new mum, I've never been such an impatient parent in my life (well, maybe the last days of pregnancy). I'm struggling emotionally because as soon as I snap at her, I instantly regret it, the guilt takes over. The other day she was in the throws of a colossal tantrum and I shouted 'bed' at her so loudly, I frightened myself. When your eldest is behaving like that, and then you have this perfect little baby that does no wrong, it is so, so easy to wish you could just get away from the 'naughty' one for a few minutes.

That's not the parent I want to be, that's not the parent that I am. How do people do it? I have a new-found respect for single mothers and the parents of large families...I genuinely don't know how I would cope without my husband (and because of his work, he's around a lot).

I spend a huge portion of my day sat worrying over whether or not I'm good enough a parent to do this. Am I? Does it get easier or will I get better? I try so hard to be a good mother to both, to encourage Moo and show her thati love her as much as I always have, and she is a very happy child, but I worry.

It does get easier, right?

Clare

Saturday Savings - Super Supermarkets

Happy Saturday everyone! Today I have a couple of things to tell you about, firstly...

Sainsbury's have had their 25% off all clothing this week, a great time to stock up on some basics, school uniform bits or a little treat. The offer ends on Monday so you'll have to bust a move to take advantage. Annoyingly, they don't sell online (sort it out, Sainsbury's...some of us are housebound at the moment)!

I love this little denim jacket, £9 normally, £6.75 with the 25%. Bargain!

As that ends on Monday, however, starting up as that finishes, over at ASDA is their regular baby and toddler event! A great time to fill up on those regular, niggling and boring purchases like baby shampoo and dummies whilst they're on offer! They sometimes have some good offers on more expensive items such as Moses baskets, sterilisers and high chairs. Take a look at the site before hand and price compare as quite often, other retailers price match or even beat as these events are becoming so regular!

The George clothing is looking lovely for younger girls...the boys, sadly not so much...though there is a lot of Muppets things. I love The Muppets. To ASDA!

The Muppets t-shirt and bodysuit £5

Clare

Gro Clock

The Gro company is much-loved amongst parents. They have some wonderful, beautifully-designed and innovative products including the gro-egg and the gro-bag to name their most popular.

In response to a recent rant posted here about Moo's sleeping habits, someone suggested the Gro-clock. This was something that I had looked at and considered in the past admittedly, but the price had put me off. I know it's not a lot of money, however, I hate to part with money unnecessarily and the fact that families have been settling their toddlers to sleep for thousands for years without the need of a light-up clock. So yes, I was sceptical.

My husband, however, was quite frankly sick of me not getting enough sleep whilst pregnant (and moaning about it) and when I suggested it to him, he went on Amazon and ordered it. Moo was very excited about her new nightlight/big girl clock and was enthral led as she watched me plug it in and set it up. It came with it's own storybook which is designed to help children understand why it's important to go to bed at the right time. 

The basic idea is that you set the clock to the correct time and then you have two modes. Night mode and nap mode. I don't use the nap mode as Moo has out-grown hers, so we are only using 'night mode'. You don't need to set a bed time, you simply turn it to night mode when your child goes to bed (which is handy if your child's bed time fluctuates a little like mine does), it you do need to set the waking time.

At bed time, you follow the instructions to set it to night time, the yellow sun winks and goes 'to bed' then a blue star appears. The colour and character differences are designed to teach your child when to be in bed and when to get up. If they wake in the middle of. The night and see the screen is still blue, they will learn to stay in bed, however if they wake and the screen is yellow, they know it is now okay to get up.

I kept a diary of the first two weeks for you to see yourselves how it went. I'm not going to lie, it was trying and the heat wave didn't help in the slightest. Moo's bedtime is typically anywhere between 6 and 7pm as she's two-years-old but doesn't nap. If she has a nap, you'll be lucky if you get her in bed by 9pm (no matter how short of a nap). I set the clock to turn back to day at 7am.

Day 1 - Bed 6:15pm. Woke 12:20am. Woke 6am. Up 6:50am.
Day 2 - Bed 6:45pm. Woke 7:45pm (bad dream). Up at 7:35.
Day 3 - Bed 6pm. Woke 11pm. Woke 12:10pm. Up 6:40am.
Day 4 - Bed 7pm. Up 6:40am.
Day 5 - Bed 6:15pm. Woke 12:30am. Up 6:30am.
Day 6 - Bed 5:50pm due to long, hot day. Woke 10pm (bad dream). Woke 3am. Up 7:15am.
Day 7 - Bed 7pm. Woke 2am. Up 7:30am.
Day 8 - Bed 8:30pm. Awoke 1:30am. Awoke 6:30am. Up 7:30am.
Day 9 - Bed 6:10.pm Awoke 7:10pm (too hot). Awoke 11:45pm (nappy leak). Up 7am.
Day 10 - Bed 6:40pm. Awoke 9:55pm. Awoke 3:05am. Awoke at 4:30am. Up 8am.
Day 11 - Bed 8pm. Up 7:50am.
Day 12 - Bed 9pm. Up 7:10am.
Day 12 - Bed 7:45om. Up 7:45am.
Day 13 - Bed 6:40pm. Awoke 9:30pm (bad dream). Up 7:20am.
Day 14 - Bed 6:40. Awoke at 8:45 (hot). Up 7:20am.
Day 15 - Bed 6:10pm. Awoke 7:30am.

As you can see it started slowly but I did notice an improvement over the fortnight. Moo now sleeps through the night without waking me (unless she has a bad dream or something else is wrong), whereas before she would get out of bed and come and get me every time she woke up. She's even sleeping through outside noise with her window open which is fantastic. I cannot express how nice it is not to have to worry about how long it'll be until she wakes me up again!!

She does still sometimes get up before 'Mr. Sun' does, but she slips into our bed and has a cuddle (which I don't mind). She's definitely sleeping better for it and for that I'm eternally grateful!!

Pros.
- Assists your child in managing their night-time sleep patterns.
- Assists your child in self-settling.
- Provides a nightlight for younger children.
- It works!

Cons.
- You can't turn it off, it's constantly on though does use very little electricity.
- £20 is still a lot to pay for a clock, but is £20 a lot for a good night's sleep? Well...it all depends on your financial circumstances and epwhether or not you have a spare £20 in your budget to spend on sleep-training your children. I would say if you can afford it, do it...it is a quick method of getting some well-deserved sleep back in your life!

Clare

Please note that we purchased this product with our own money and were not compensated in any way for this review.

Sainsbury's Little Ones Pull-ons

Before I start this review, I'd like to just say that I'm actually rather fond of Sainsbury's. I think they can do some wonderful deals and I especially like their children's clothes, I eagerly await their 25% off weeks that they run (usually around bank holidays for anyone that's interested).

That said, I shall continue.

Sainsbury's 22 Little Ones Pull-ons Size 5 £3.87

We normally buy our nappies in bulk on Amazon or with our groceries from Tesco. However, we recently went away and I sort of let the ball drop on the nappy stock. Caught short and with only three nappies left in my arsenal, I had to pick some up when I went into town. For our holiday I bought a small pack of Boots nappies and was really pleased with them as I'd never used them before, however I was only really going to Sainsbury's on this particular visit and couldn't really be bothered to trek the toddler to Boots. So whilst I was using my baking things, I grabbed a pack of their own. This was the smallest pack of size 5 and I was initially really impressed with the price point when I noticed they were pull-up pant style nappies as opposed to the usual side fastening. I didn't want to buy a large pack of nappies even though the price per nappie would be cheaper, because I knew our usual order would be arriving in a couple of days.

I put Moo in one that evening for bed and my first thought was that they are hideous. The design is very plain and unexciting to myself, let alone a toddler (it's got a weird illustration of a belt on it of all things). My next opinion was formed when I pulled the nappy up and it ripped. Yes, a pull-up nappy that rips when you pull it up. Incredibly helpful. I tweeted Sainsbury's about this but got no response.

In the morning I discovered that the nappy had ridden up on one side (that could just be my fidget bug though) and within moments of her getting up. It had leaked. Everywhere.

I still didn't have any other nappies so I thought I'd just grin and bear it, I'd spent money on them after all so I had to get some use out of them, so Moo continued to wear them (though I borrowed some Lidl-brand ones from my husband's grandmother for night times). As the weather's been so incredibly sweltering hot nice, Moo has been prancing about often in her nappy. This led me to realise that they bunch and ride up a lot. I seem to constantly be plucking one side out (sorry for that image) when I dare to put her in them.

I'll quickly bullet point the good and the bad for you below...

Good.

-Price; very competitive to it's rivals.

Bad.

-Ugly design.

-Leak.

-Ill-fitting.

-Tear easily.

So there you have it, sadly, I shan't be buying Sainsbury's pull-ons again for either child. I have previously used their smaller sized nappies when Moo was a baby and thought them really good (though I find their groceries to be more expensive so generally only go there for clothes or if I'm in town). I think that given the choice of own-brand nappies that you can buy nowadays and how all are quite competitively priced, you'd be better off with another store's brand. Of the supermarkets, I prefer Tesco (slightly better to look at, hold a lot of wee) and Lidl's nappies are fabulous in value and quality, NanNan has a supply as the two great-granddaughters that live in her garden visit often with her are the same size (Moo and our niecelet).

On the nappy front, was sad to see Huggies pull out of the UK market. I'd known about it for quite awhile but only recently noticed that they had finally done it (excluding their swimmers, pull-ups and wipes). Their newborn nappies were the first I ever used and I thought them wonderful and I still use their pure wipes when they're on offer (though sadly was not a fan of their bigger nappies....funny smell). I think it's another sign of supermarket dominance within our nation and the rising number of people who are realising (for whatever reason) that quality doesn't mean you have to pay a higher price and buy branded.

Let me know if you've had any unfortunate nappy experiences like a pull-up ripping when you pull it up...

Clare

The Original Nappy Purse and Change Mat

Hello, I have a lovely product review for you today which I'm so very excited about!

As you all know we went on our holidays last week, just a quick pop over to Paris on the ferry (being thirty-one weeks pregnant I wasn't permitted to fly...I do not recommend holidaying through any modes of transport this pregnant FYI). With Moo still being in nappies, my mind was a whir with packing my travel essentials, food, luggage, bedding and changing bag in our Meriva that was also carrying four adults and a child. Thankfully, I was offered a solution; the Origional Nappy Purse and Change Mat by Ruby and Ginger.

Ruby and Ginger is a lovely, West-Yorkshire based company run by two mums (Liz and Brenda) since 2009 and is designed for 'families on the move'. They create fun and functional products in beautifully-designed fabrics for young children when out and about.

The Origional Nappy Purse and Change Mat comes with a lovely, soft, towelling change mat, plastic wipes case and a little pouch to put it all in with space for three nappies. You can also easily slip some nappy sacks down the side (or in the little phone pocket). I loved the wipes case, it meant that I could leave the whomping big packet in my suitcase (or, as I later found out, squashed between it and the side of the car) and load up the case provided with as many as I thought I'd need. I easily got a quarter of a packet into it which yes, I realise is excessive but every time I blink my child seems to have something on her! She's one of those children, you see...the sticky child that nobody wants to go near at weddings/BBQs etc. I used it from day one, popping it into my handbag for the drive to Dover to stay in a hotel and dinner out. It was incredibly liberating to be able to just grab my little pouch with one hand and child with the other and haul off to the loos rather than lugging my whole bag. As I've mentioned before, pregnancy brings on SPD and I also have a slightly damaged spine so the heavier the change bag, the slower the waddle.

The next morning was time for an early morning ferry, I'd made sure I had my three nappies loaded up before leaving the hotel and inevitably Moo needed a change about twenty minutes into the crossing. The changing station was in a slightly-bigger than-average cubicle and to my horror there was nowhere to hang my bag, there was no hook!
It was such a relief to have something so small and compact with me rather than my big bag (though I do love my change bag). It really did make a difference. Moo seemed comfortable on the change mat and unlike plastic ones that you get usually, she wasn't sticking to it in the heat. I imagine younger babies especially would benefit from such a soft surface and with it being so small, I didn't have to put anything on to the floor, despite how small the changing surface was.

The nappy purse became my best travel buddy whilst on holiday, even my husband popped it into his backpack at Disneyland and gave it a whirl, saying that it was ideal for when he was out alone with the children as he could just pop it in the buggy basket and not have to be seen walking around town with my floral change bag (though he does).

I've already planned to take this to the hospital with me when I have Bear rather than my full-sized bag as it's ideal given the situation (I have to travel light due to the new set-up of my local health authority with regards to maternity care) and I know that since using it, I would grab it over my regular change bag for a variety of situations. This is also an ideal solution to if you are on the fence whether to buy a specific baby changing bag or not. At £20 it is a fraction of the cost of most changing bags and can be used in most handbags or alone. You also have a choice of three fabrics unique to Ruby and Ginger so that you can 'reclaim your handbag' in style!

You can buy Ruby and Ginger from their online shop, at select independent shops as well as Halfords and House of Fraser. Personally, I've got my beady, little gaze settled on this!

Clare

Please note that I was sent this product for the purposes of review, however all opinions and experiences are that of my own.

Toddler Sleeping; a Rant?

'I miss you Mummy when I'm in my bed.' - Moo, 2013

The above statement was said by my two-year-old when I was putting her to bed. You see, the previous night she had slept 6:15pm-7am without waking and calling for me once. Very occasionally we have these evenings, but they are rare and to be honest, right now, it's starting to take its affect on me...

Let me start from the beginning. Once upon a time, I gave birth and was the smuggest mare going. I had heard horror stories all through my life about how bad babies were for sleeping. I am one of those disgusting people that needs a LOT of sleep (unfortunately so is my husband so you can only imagine how much gets done in our house first thing), were talking optimum nine hours. Throughout my pregnancy I would often sleep ten or eleven hours in the night and have a nap in the day also. But I was smug because at five weeks my angel of a daughter who hardly ever cried started sleeping through the night. People told me how perfect she was, how lucky I was and I just nodded along and said 'thank you, I know'.

It was not to last.

At nine months separation anxiety hit. Big time. I had just started a new job in retail management and was out of the house a lot on week days, not just at work but the travel was around forty minutes each way. This is when problems started to hit. Moo is now two years and nine months and her sleep problems seem to go from one thing to another.

Her most recent thing? Getting up in the middle of the night and popping up in our bed. She has never co-sleeped, it is not something we've ever practised or encouraged except when she has been horrifically poorly and she has slept in our bed with just me.

I am an incredibly heavy sleeper and so often don't notice when she's appeared until I've awoken for whatever reason (usually to pee) and discovered her hogging my pillow with her blonde curls and dribble. I'd be so much more inclined to do something about it upon discovery if I wasn't pregnant. Unfortunately it's teamed with her reverting back to not settling herself, also so some evenings I won't get any down time until nine, go to bed around ten and then she's in my bed by one!

This week my SPD has ramped up about ten notches on the pain scale (just in time for our holiday to Paris, yay) and I'm struggling to move around, roll over in bed even. Please somebody tell me that it gets better/easier/that there's something I can do!!

I know that toddler sleep problems are common and that I'm not alone...I personally think that this might be karma getting me back for being a snobby cow when she was born...damn it.

Clare

The Double Buggy Dilemma

I'm hoping everyone is enjoying the wonderful summery weather that we're having!

So I have about eleven weeks until baby number two (or Bear as he is nick-named) is due to make his grand appearance into the world and I've begun to second guess myself in regards to pushchair choice.

Early on in my pregnancy I bought a second-hand Quinny Buzz off of eBay from a local couple. It was a bargain at £150 for chassis, dreami carrycot, seat, both rain covers, adapters, parasol, puncture repair kit, cosy toes and blanket. It is a fantastic bit of kit and will look fabulous when I finally get around to washing it all though it is in perfect condition anyway.

For Moo I had a travel system from Mothercare which has worked fine until recently when the brakes started to play up. It didn't have a carry cot, only a car seat which has since been lost in the many moves we have done since gaining said child. So that has now joined the cupboard under the stairs though I use it if we go out for the day.

When we have our niece-let, we use their double buggy, it's a McClarren and a big ol' beast of a double buggy. I find it heavy and clumsy, but I do have a bump so I should probably give it the benefit of the doubt. My friend has an Out and About three-wheeler and that seems much easier to handle.

Anyways, the point which I am making is...is almost three too young to no longer have a pushchair? Initially I was going to get a buggy board, however I've heard that they are very tricky to fit your toddler on when you have the carry cot attached on the Buzz. I have bought a Maxi-cosi car seat so I suppose there is always the option of taking baby in that when walking with Moo.

The reason for this sudden change of mind is because recently I have been having some behavioural problems with Moo, primarily some running off (once into a road) but also leaving the playground this afternoon, I had to wrestle her into the pushchair to get her home. There was a lot of screaming and a lot of tears which is incredibly rare when it comes to her. I'm concerned about how I will manage when I have a tiny baby in toe also.

So below I have given my top choice for low, medium and high budget doubles...yknow...just in case...

Dream Weavers You and Me - £118.99 - kiddicare.com
Baby Jogger City Mini Double - £399 - kiddicare.com
Bugaboo Donkey Duo Pram and Pushchair - £1099 - mothercare.co.uk

Has anyone else experienced the double-buggy dilemma?

Clare