Judgement of Children's Size

I get a lot of comments on Moo's appearance.

"Isn't she tall?"

"She's so thin!"

"She not keen on food?"

"Do you struggle to get her to eat?"

"She's not got much hair."

Yes, she's tall and no, she's not a bad eater, in the slightest...in fact, I've not quite seen a child who can put it away quite like my daughter.

Moo is tall, yes, but so am I. I stand at 5'8" and my father is over 6'. My brother-in-law is also well over the six-foot mark as are their cousins (my husband is the shortest at 5'9"). Moo has obviously inherited this (along with my husbands fine, blonde hair, my big feet and our joint large noses) and yes, it does make her stand out a little bit. We cannot meet new people without hearing about how tall she is for two, someone recently said she looked about five (bit of an over-step in my opinion but okay).

It's not just her height that draws attention, but her size in general. She has a teeny waist and very long, thin legs. She is incredibly slim, so much so that on more than one occasion, she's had to of been made an 'emergency belt' when her trousers have continuously fallen down. Trousers are a nightmare; if they fit her waist, they're far too small in length and anything long enough (even her own age) is usually too big around the middle. Elasticated leggings are my friends and she lives in them...and dresses though they pose their own problem. More often than not we end up with a too-short, potato sack situation.

So why is she so thin? Do I starve her? Ha! Fat chance, that child is addicted to the fridge! This is a child that multiple times in the last month has had two breakfasts.

She is very active, it's not often youll see her sat still or even quiet. She started walking at nine month this and has seemingly not stopped since. She is constantly moving and even before she could roll over, she was constantly shaking her arms and legs around! Health visitors and doctors have never seen a problem with her, she's within normal centiles on the growth charts and is a happy, healthy little girl who enjoys swimming, climbing and football.

But comments on her weight hurt. The look on people's faces as she runs around in a dress that hangs around her skinny frame, as they tell me how thin she looks. Yes, I know how slim she is, I'm her mother, I give her a bath everyday. She has a healthy diet and I certainly don't withhold treats and nice things from her (I don't throw them at her either).

With this in mind, I wonder if those same people regard larger children with the same sort of sympathy and judgement. Surely, it would only be fair that they look upon a bigger-framed child with the mind of abuse like they do my daughter. It's clear that people think I don't feed her properly, that maybe I even neglect her so obviously, a larger child would provoke further thoughts of abuse, yes?

Do I think that if a parent is responsible for their pre-schooler being over-weight, it is a form of abuse? Well, actually, I do. Under-fives are incredibly vulnerable and have no control what-so-ever over what they out in their mouths, they are given the food that they eat. If a child is over weight because of his or her lifestyle then yes, I believe that to be a form of neglect. Do I look at every larger child thinking that they have a poor diet? No and I wouldn't expect you to, either. There are children who are naturally larger just like how mine is naturally thinner and their parents don't deserve judgement.

As for Moo's hair...the day it reaches her shoulders, I may cry...I'll no doubt be retired by then!

Clare

Moo's Birthday; a shopping list

When it comes to toys, Moo has them practically coming out of her ears. When you have so many relatives, it's impossible not to be inundated with toys and as a toddler, it's overwhelming. She's becoming increasingly difficult to shop for at Christmas and birthday. Last year the husband and I did both Paris and Florida so ended up buying her a lot that we couldn't get in the UK.

This years she's three (where did my baby go?) and so she's becoming a 'big girl'. NanNan has bought her some big girl trainers as she was due new shoes, Grandma and Grandpa have bought her a very grown-up charm bracelet and children's perfume for her to be like mummy...and we have got...nothing. Zilch. Nada.

It's going to get to crunch time, I know it...we'll have to think of something...in the mean time, I've been looking around and so far I've found these little odds and ends...

Top: Sofia the First wipe clean book £6 Disney Store. Middle; Beatrix Potter complete collection £24.80 Amazon. Bottom; Lego Duplo deluxe brick box £28 Amazom. Centre; Top and leggings set £28-34 Ted Baker at Debenhams. Right; Izzy plush £15 Disney store.

Any suggestions? Anyone?

Please?

Clare

'5 Things...' Learning From My Mistakes

Like everyone, I've made some mistakes in my life and now that I'm twenty-seven I can look back on them and think 'hmmm...I could've done that better'. You can't change the things you have/haven't done, but you can encourage your children to learn from your mistakes without being a controlling, super-freak. Today's post is all about the five things I would fall over myself to encourage Moo not to do...

1. Give up easily.

I didn't do well in GCSEs, I only did one year of A-levels and I dropped out of university. Twice. I have had job, after job in low-paid retail despite management experience, why? Because I give up easily. I get bored, I get stressed, I freak out, lose control and mess it up. I never pushed myself, when things got hard or boring, I cut and run.

2. Stay silent.

If someone is hurting her/upsetting her. I want her to speak up and tell someone, anyone, it doesn't have to be me. I will raise her to know that no matter what, she can tell me anything and everything.

3. Not be true to herself to avoid confrontation.

Growing up I would often stay quiet to make life easy on myself, I would take hurtful comments and opinions and just wait until I was alone to feel sorry for myself. Not only did this do me some serious damage later on in regards to depression, it did my strength of character no favours being a push-over.

4. Forget her dream.

I once had a talent that I practised every day. The last time I picked up a pencil and drew something was...about a year ago. Between work, parenthood, my social life, my husband's business and blogging, I don't have time for much and I'm ashamed o say it's been even longer since I set foot in a gallery, which was once my greatest passion.

5. Rush.

I am notoriously impatient and by rushing through or into things, I've made a lot of mistakes...and missed a lot of opportunities. Nothing to be proud of.

And three things that I did that I would openly encourage her to do...

1. Get out and away.

I didn't discover who I really was until I got away from everything. Because I left university early, I never really found that out, even moving out and in with a boyfriend taught me little (except how to survive being very poor)...it wasn't until a friend and I packed our bags, said goodbye to the places that we grew up in and the bad memories and went and explored. There were tears, there were arguments and there were some rough times but I made some fantastic, life-long and best friends, found out who I really was and met my husband. I worked seasonal jobs for two years and they were the best two years of my life. Whatever Moo chooses to do with her life, I would encourage her to get out of the place she grew up in and see something other than her doorstep. It may literally be the making of her.

2. Take risks.

Sure, they won't always pay off but she will learn from them and discover wonderful things.

3. Break a heart and have it done right back.

It's a humbling and unpleasant experience, but it needs to be done. Doesn't need to be a lover, could be a friend or family member...until someone has handed you your heart in pieces, you've not lived. In the same respect, you need to break a heart to learn strength, I think.

Clare

Trunki PaddlePak Party

How great was the rain on the weekend? I was incredibly thankful for it for many reasons, the main one being that I'd woken up with a really bad back and could barely move (so naturally my husband decided it was the day to mount the television onto the wall)! This meant I couldn't really take Moo out anywhere. Since I've been on maternity leave she's gotten into the habit of doing something out every day and so the first thing she asks when she wakes up is 'where are we going today?'

With the rain so bad and my back feeling like I'd had a run in with a bull dozen, we stayed inside and what other excuse than to try the Trunki app for iPad and iPhone?

The app's free to download and based on their television commercial (that was made with Aardman, the people behind Wallace and Gromit) to promote their new 'Paddle Pak' range. The first thing that struck me was the fantastic colours, I don't pay a huge amount of attention to advertising campaigns if I'm honest because my mantra is always research when making a purchase. The colours on the app are bright, bold and whimsical featuring a variety of sea-life characters to play as (the characters correspond with the PaddlePaks that are currently available to buy). The game is recommended for children aged 3-6 years and the basic idea is you select a character and then must gobble up various items of beachwear to complete the level.

It downloaded quickly onto my iPad and away we went! I decided I would play first so that Moo (who is not quite three but competent on other popular pre-school apps) could watch me do it. The app didn't offer to show me how to play the first time, however and so as it started up I didn't quite know what it was I was supposed to be doing. I pressed my finger to the screen and moved it around thinking that it would follow my touch but it didn't. I managed to complete the first level (find 5 snorkels) but it took an embarrassing amount of time and left me feeling a bit frustrated and disappointed. Moo was delighted by the colours, sounds and movements by this stage and begging for a turn. I quickly went back to the home screen and checked in the settings and sure enough there was a tutorial telling me how to play; press the screen to make the character swim up, release for them to swim down.

So I went and tried again and yes, that made much more sense and it was working though I will admit, I'm twenty-six and it was a little on the tricky side. A wonderful thing about this game is that there are no penalties, so if you accidentally swallow a pair of swimming trunks as opposed to the sunglasses you're supposed to be chomping on, you are not then penalised for doing so which is great for the younger end of the age recommendation.

As Moo started to play, I could see that the touch and release aspect of the games control was a little 'beyond' her, but like I said, she's not three until early October so for her to have some basic issues with controls such as those, I wasn't concerned. The colours and sounds were enough to keep her playing and entertained, and even though it took her longer than perhaps it should to achieve her goal, she was happy and having fun. 

All in all I found this to be a wonderful little app, here are my pros and cons:

Pros.

- No penalties which keeps children engaged rather than frustrating them.

- Graphics are beautiful.

- Promotes counting in groups of five.

- Promotes memory and picture recognition.

- For an app based on a product, the advertising of said product is not in your face and I really like that! It's there, but it's subtle and won't have your children begging and pleading for you to buy the, the whole range.

- Promotes hand eye co-ordination.

- It's free!! I've paid for apps inferior in quality.

Cons.

- It didn't volunteer to tell me how to play, I had to look for myself. Not sure if that's standard though or if perhaps mine just had a glitch? You never can tell with technology!

- The controls are a little tricky, but it comes with practise.

If you have an iPhone or an iPad, I would definitely recommend downloading this app for those odd moments when you really need to ring the gas company, or you want to keep them quiet for twenty minutes on public transport, or just for a rainy day game to play together like we did!

The app is available for download from the App Store by searching 'Trunki'.

Clare

Please note that I received no compensation for this post, all views and experiences are my own.

The Birthday Mission

Our 'birthday season' is almost upon us.

And truth be told, I am thoroughly unprepared. I started the second half of the year with the best intentions, however a mistake in my pay and a few uncovered errors at the tax office has left us tighter than usual. There's no point getting upset or angry about it, these things happen and they're on their way to being fixed so it's just a case of sit tight and wait.

We have plenty to cover food on the table and the bills being paid, for that, I am thankful and so therefore, grateful as there have been times in my past, before meeting my husband and having a family, where I couldn't achieve at least one of these.

Anyways, 'birthday season' is the never-ending stream of birthdays and occasions that start from August 1st and do not stop until the end of November, at which time, I'm already well into my Christmas planning (who am I kidding, I've already started planning Christmas). In August alone there are four birthdays, including my own (soon to be five as Bear is due) and two wedding anniversaries. September brings a further four birthdays, with October two more and November yet another two.

But of all of these many, many happy returns, there is one that means more to me than any other and of course it does...I was there the second she took her first breath, it is of course, Moo's birthday which is in October.

It would be fair to say that of her first two birthdays, I gave a pretty poor showing. For her first birthday I had been unfortunately quite ill and under out-patient investigation at a Brighton hospital for undiagnosed neurological problems. I was on statutory sick pay and we were struggling big time. My mother-in-law kindly bought some things for me to be able to throw Moo a little tea party with her friends, her NanNan made her a lovely cake and to be honest, at one, she was thrilled to bits just to have all her chums in her house at once! I felt like a failure but things were sorted by Christmas and we tried to make up for it then, not just through a few extra presents, but through the experience.

Her second birthday was a bit pear-shaped too unfortunately. She was incredibly poorly and even now, looking back at photos from that day, you can see how incredibly tired and ill she looks. To top it all off I spent the entire day working at the East Sussex Toddler and Baby Show on behalf of my husband and his brother which means that excluding the morning and the evening, I missed the entire day. She'd spent it with my father-in-law and most of that she'd been asleep or cuddling someone. She had wonderful presents because the husband and I had only been back from Florida a week or so where we'd been on honeymoon, but that's not the point, is it? I should've been there.

Once again NanNan came through on the cake front. Just to clarify, NanNan is my husband's grandmother. A woman who commands respect with three children, seven grandchildren and nine (almost ten) great-grandchildren to name just a smidgen of her accomplishments.

So this year, this year I am going to be super-mum. My only focus, once her brother is out, will be to give her the birthday she deserves. Food, cake, presents and an epic party. I am going to handle every step, get my best crafting and baking efforts out of the bag, learn how to ice a cake beautifully and above all, be there. Right there. All day. Showing her that she is one of the greatest parts of my life and I would be so much less of a person without her in it and that even though she drives me bonkers, I love her more than I ever thought I could.

I'll keep you updated with my birthday-prep over the next couple of months. If you'd like to link me any posts on the birthday parties you've thrown for your children for inspiration/motivation, I'd be thrilled to check them out!

Clare

What Moo Wore - a Holiday OOTW

So as you probably know, we were on holiday last week in France. Moo turned into quite the fashionista (possibly taking after her idol, Minnie Mouse) and so I've decided to do a little OOTW post for her key holiday outfits. There were more but this is the pick of lot.

One.

Jumper - Next

Gilet - Peter Storm

Leggings - Tu at Sainsbury's

Trainers - Vans

Two.

Hat - Mini Club at Boots

Cardigan - Matalan

Dress - Disney at Sainsbury's

Tights - Primark

Sandals - Timberland

Three.

Tunic - Mini Club at Boots

Leggings - Mini Club at Boots

Four.

Cardigan - George at ASDA

Dress - Autograph at M&S (via eBay)

Five.

Play suit - Primark

Clare

Toddler Sleeping; a Rant?

'I miss you Mummy when I'm in my bed.' - Moo, 2013

The above statement was said by my two-year-old when I was putting her to bed. You see, the previous night she had slept 6:15pm-7am without waking and calling for me once. Very occasionally we have these evenings, but they are rare and to be honest, right now, it's starting to take its affect on me...

Let me start from the beginning. Once upon a time, I gave birth and was the smuggest mare going. I had heard horror stories all through my life about how bad babies were for sleeping. I am one of those disgusting people that needs a LOT of sleep (unfortunately so is my husband so you can only imagine how much gets done in our house first thing), were talking optimum nine hours. Throughout my pregnancy I would often sleep ten or eleven hours in the night and have a nap in the day also. But I was smug because at five weeks my angel of a daughter who hardly ever cried started sleeping through the night. People told me how perfect she was, how lucky I was and I just nodded along and said 'thank you, I know'.

It was not to last.

At nine months separation anxiety hit. Big time. I had just started a new job in retail management and was out of the house a lot on week days, not just at work but the travel was around forty minutes each way. This is when problems started to hit. Moo is now two years and nine months and her sleep problems seem to go from one thing to another.

Her most recent thing? Getting up in the middle of the night and popping up in our bed. She has never co-sleeped, it is not something we've ever practised or encouraged except when she has been horrifically poorly and she has slept in our bed with just me.

I am an incredibly heavy sleeper and so often don't notice when she's appeared until I've awoken for whatever reason (usually to pee) and discovered her hogging my pillow with her blonde curls and dribble. I'd be so much more inclined to do something about it upon discovery if I wasn't pregnant. Unfortunately it's teamed with her reverting back to not settling herself, also so some evenings I won't get any down time until nine, go to bed around ten and then she's in my bed by one!

This week my SPD has ramped up about ten notches on the pain scale (just in time for our holiday to Paris, yay) and I'm struggling to move around, roll over in bed even. Please somebody tell me that it gets better/easier/that there's something I can do!!

I know that toddler sleep problems are common and that I'm not alone...I personally think that this might be karma getting me back for being a snobby cow when she was born...damn it.

Clare