2013 in Numbers

2013 was a big year for our family, we became 'complete'. We have two healthy and happy children, one of each, and so we're done with baby making (more on that topic later in the week).

Here's what made 2013...

Baby Bear.

- Two ultrasound scans.

- Two midwife-departments.

- Nine midwife appointments.

- Two false-labours.

- Thirty-eight weeks of pregnancy (forty-two in total).

- Seven minutes of delivery.

- 1:06am; time he was born, weighing 8lb6oz on 08/09/2013.

- Ninety seconds; length of time he stopped breathing once delivered.

- Twenty-seven minutes after he was born, my husband arrived.

- Three return journeys to and from our home in Eastbourne and the Conquest Hospital by my husband in a thirty-six hour period.

- Forty minutes is the approximate time from home to hospital one way.

- Sixteen weeks of successful breast-feeding.

- Twenty-five weeks of maternity leave taken.

- One very proud big sister, two smitten parents and one big lump of gorgeous bubba.

And the rest...

- One house-move.

- Two failed attempts, two relapses and three successful attempts at potty training.

- Fifteen children under five at the party where my daughter turned three.

- Twenty-five and twenty-seven; the ages my husband and I turned (respectively).

- Two trips to Paris as a family.

- Four concerts.

- One trip to Peppa Pig World.

- Two weddings attended.

- One year of wedded bliss celebrated.

- One first ever trip to the cinema.

- Four days of Christmas-festivities as a family of four.

- 364; the (approximate) times I've seen Disney's Tangled with Moo.

Wow. What a year. I've loved 2013 (apart from the never-ending pregnancy) and I can't wait to see what 2014 will bring my way I'm hoping more handbags and chocolate with less weight gain!

Clare

Could you leave your children?

Could you leave your children?

This question pops into my mind after I met someone, then found out from a relative that eight years ago she walked out on her husband and four-year-old son. Now, after almost a decade of wanting barely anything to do with him, she has asked the child to move in with her, leaving the father who has raised him (and sadly recently suffered a near-fatal accident) alone.

The same relative also knows another woman who fourteen years ago walked out on her husband and four children following an affair...three weeks before Christmas.

Could you do it?

I don't think I could. I don't think I would ever want to. I know I couldn't.

Yes, the pair of them at times are enough to turn me to the bottle and yes, I'll admit, sometimes I wish to lump about my home alone for a couple of hours...but the thought of waking to a morning without them, coming home to a house void of Moo's shrieking and Bear's chattering, is more than I can stand.

What makes a mother abandon her babies?

I know it crops up every now and then; on chat shows, documentaries, real-life magazines...but why? 

I'm sad to say that it's often because of a man. I will hold my hands up and say that I have done a lot of crazy (read sometimes stupid) things in the name of love but I will never walk away from my children...and if I do, you have my total permission to hunt me down and slap me. Hard. Because clearly I'll need it, I know what it's like to not be loved by a parent as a child and it is a sickening, heart-wrenching pain that never, ever goes. Perhaps that's why the thought of ever closing that door with no intent o return o them fills me with so much dread I hug them that little bit tighter.

If ever you feel it gets too much. Stop. Think. Talk to somebody. Please don't ever leave your babies.

Clare

Grandparents

Grandparents are brilliant, right?

Well, the truth is I don't really know, having never had proper, first-hand experience. All of mine were sadly long out of the picture, one way or another, before I was even born. I did have one great-grandmother (just named Grandmother) for the younger years of my childhood and I often think of her. I remember her fondly and always look whenever I pass her house (which isn't often but it's en route o my parent's place so more than I would otherwise). 

I'm grateful that my children don't have this problem; my children have a Grandma, a Nanny, a Grandpa and a Grandpa Mike as well as two great-grandmothers in (NanNan and Nana). They also have another set of grandparents but the situation there is...complex.

Grandparents (and great-grandparents) are the best thing since sliced bread; they tell stories, make things, have endless answers to all of life's questions and seem to have an infinite amount of patience when mine has run out.

Without my children's grandparents, I wouldn't be able to work, I wouldn't have access to a garden, Moo wouldn't know the excitement and love of receiving a letter every week, or that there is life outside of Eastbourne! Without grandparents, I'd never get out of the house it seems!

But above all these things, above the presents and trips that I can't afford because my money is tied up in paying for child-life essentials, above all the noisy toys and over-stimulation...I know that I have many people there if something should ever happen to us. To catch our children should we ever cease to be their parents, through illness or death. We are well insured, I know that money won't be a problem, but who cares about money, it's love they'll need.

Knowing that if we go, they will have a home that is filled with as much love as they have now floods me with a sense of relief. I think of how hard it must've been for my Dad raising me and not ever having someone to take me out to the park for a couple of hours to give him a break. Honestly, how the man is still sane is beyond me.

I never knew my grandparents, I wish that I had...if you're lucky enough to still have yours, please make sure that they know how much they mean to you.

I secretly hold an excited little part of myself in my heart, waiting for the day I have a grandchild...but I'm in now hurry yet. My babies are still very much babies.

Clare

What IS in a name?

In the blogging world we have total control over how much we share with people. We can be totally anonymous (though I bet that's really hard) or completely open to the whole world. We can use silly nicknames to discuss the people in our life, or we could use initials, abbreviations or just their names.

I choose not to share my family's names on my blog because I share my location and our photographs, I think there is such a thing as too much sharing...however I don't look down my nose at those who do. I have mentioned them on both Twitter and Instagram previously, however. My daughter is Moo because, weirdly, that's what she's called at home, or more often, her name followed by the word moo, as if it were double barrelled. I don't know why but I know she's not the only little girl with that name who gets called it! My son is Bear because for the longest time my husband wanted to name him Charlie (which I didn't like) and the only thing that kept springing to mind was 'Charlie Bear' so it sort of stuck.

My husband is simply that or 'Mister Teacup'...because the latter sounds funny!

I, as you know. Refer to myself by name...Clare, I do this because while anonymity is there to protect my family, I wanted to be as open and as honest about myself as possible. 

Rambling over now!

Clare

Braun Exactfit 5

If there's one thing when it comes to budgeting that I don't compromise on, it's my family's health. Recently my husband hadn't been feeling too well and had suffered from a couple of red spots in his eyes which we were advised could be a symptom of high blood pressure. As blood pressure problems run in his family he popped along to the doctor who told him it would be a good idea to keep an eye on it at home. Around the same time, I happened to be cruising through Twitter as I often do, and saw someone was on the look out for bloggers to review a blood-pressure monitor. Now, I'm not the sort to review just anything, but given that I was heavily pregnant and having my blood-pressure monitored also, I thought I'd volunteer us.

The closest either of us has ever come to using at-home medical equipment is Moo's asthma inhaler so this was all completely new territory for us. We were sent the Braun Exactfit 5 BP6200. At first I was really nervous about the thickness of the instruction manual, but on closer inspection I discovered it was in many languages, I guess it's true what they say; never judge a book by it's cover...or thickness, apparently.

Included is the monitor unit, batteries, two different sized arm cuffs, an instruction booklet and a little pouch to keep everything in safely.

The instructions were incredibly easy to follow and we were soon hooking it up to give it a whirl. It was a matter of seconds to connect the cuff and get it going to test ourselves. The unit saves your data (up to 60 measurements), and can save the info of up to two people (person A and person B) which is great for keeping an eye on your health, I thought this was especially true for pregnant women who are considered to be at risk for pre-eclampsia. The monitor also works out a daily average over 7 days which aids you in monitoring your blood-pressure figures. 

Here are my pros and cons...

Pros.

- Incredibly easy to use.

- Quick set-up.

- Multi-user function.

- Sleek and compact design.

- Large, digital screen that is brightly back-lit for ease of reading.

Cons.

- We both found that as the cuff inflated around our arms, it got much tighter than those used in hospitals and doctors surgeries though we wonder if this is because it is new out of the box rather than seen several years use at the hands if the NHS!

For further details visit www.braunbloodpressuremonitors.co.uk. Packed full of information and advice, Braun’s new microsite includes tips on controlling your blood pressure as well as practical videos showing you how to fit your Braun blood pressure monitor and understand your measurements. The Braun blood pressure monitors are available nationwide at selected Boots stores. Visit the microsite for further information.

The Braun Exactfit 5 BP6200 is priced at £99.99.

Clare

Please note we were sent this item for the purposes of review, however all findings and opinions are our own.

Adjusting to Life with a Newborn Again

Oh Heavens I had forgotten what life with a newborn is like; squishy, lovely, surreal, euphoric, heavenly...I love him oh so much, he is a new part of my world that was previously made of his father and his sister. They are everything.

But then there's also all the really, really hard stuff.

Like spending my time at home wandering around with one or both breasts out of at least my bra if not my bra and top, or forgetting how long it's been since I last washed my hair (I think I'm on day eight...yes, I repulse myself).

Looking back to my pregnancy, especially the last few weeks, I foolishly thought that this would be the easy bit, that carrying him was hard and it would all be smooth sailing so long as we were both healthy after birth. How very wrong I was.

Sure, it hurt to get in the shower, but I managed it, I had time for it and I definitely never forgot how long it had been since I did it. In those last weeks I lived in leggings and vest tops for comfort and make-up and I were basically estranged. Now my 'slap' is a distant memory and I'm still living in 'Jeremy Kyle-worthy' attire because it's the only thing I can breast feed in/hides baby and toddler sick/wee/poo/vomit/food...let's not even talk about the dust gathering on my GHDs.

Yesterday I even went to the registry office with breast milk on my top and baby wee on my leggings.

I recently turned to my good friend who's eldest is Moo's age and youngest just turned a year, I told her that I didn't know how I was ever going to get anywhere ever again. She laughed and reassured me that it did get easier...but I was relieved that the fact I've tuned into Godzilla-Mummy was totally normal (at least he thought so).

Don't get me wrong, I love, love, love my children. They are all I have ever wanted...I just had no clue it would be so hard having a newborn in the house again, or rather, trying to slot a newborn into our lives.

Also...is it normal for a two-week-old baby to guff this much?!

Clare

The Second Child

Having a baby is a big change in anyone's life; whether it's your first or your fifth. Towards the end of my pregnancy with Bear, I started to worry that I might not be able to love him as much as I loved Moo. The love I have for my daughter, as with any parent and child, is immeasurable and I struggled to understand how I could possibly have room in my heart or another.

When he was born. I'll be honest, put my hands up and say, that or the first hour I was in such shock from the birth, I didn't know how I felt when I looked at him. I wasn't over-whelmed with love or emotion when I gazed at him, though I know that I loved him, was proud of him...but it didn't come flooding over me like it had our first, perhaps it was the trauma, I don't know. Whatever it was, it quickly passed and I love the little squidge with everything that I have.

It's hard, having a second baby. Harder than having the first...emotionally and physically. When Moo was born I could sit and stare at her for hours with nowhere to be, nothing to do...just sit in with her or go for a walk with her...but with Bear I don't have that luxury...I have to divide my attention, attempt to maintain constant and steady stimulation to a toddler and be every thing I was before, plus more!  I am still my daughter's teacher, dresser, put-to-bedder, chef, entertainer and everything in between whilst breast-feeding and bonding with a new baby who needs me. 

When I was younger I used to look after a brother and sister. She was the eldest at seven, he was five and I remember the favouritism being so apparent that some days it would bring me to tears to witness. Their mother adored the son, showered him with love and praise whilst the daughter was constantly left on the outside. I hated their mother for it and now more so as a parent myself. Now the mother of two, I understand slightly how and why she felt that way; it is so, so easy to get cross and impatient with your eldest when a new baby comes along. Moo has been trying at times in the past week, waking in the night and refusing to go back to bed because I'm up with her brother, or blatantly not listening to instructions...and let's not even discuss the lack of bladder control that's suddenly taken over her. Team that with the hormones, the sleep deprivation and exhaustion of being a new mum, I've never been such an impatient parent in my life (well, maybe the last days of pregnancy). I'm struggling emotionally because as soon as I snap at her, I instantly regret it, the guilt takes over. The other day she was in the throws of a colossal tantrum and I shouted 'bed' at her so loudly, I frightened myself. When your eldest is behaving like that, and then you have this perfect little baby that does no wrong, it is so, so easy to wish you could just get away from the 'naughty' one for a few minutes.

That's not the parent I want to be, that's not the parent that I am. How do people do it? I have a new-found respect for single mothers and the parents of large families...I genuinely don't know how I would cope without my husband (and because of his work, he's around a lot).

I spend a huge portion of my day sat worrying over whether or not I'm good enough a parent to do this. Am I? Does it get easier or will I get better? I try so hard to be a good mother to both, to encourage Moo and show her thati love her as much as I always have, and she is a very happy child, but I worry.

It does get easier, right?

Clare

Just a quickie...

...to wish my wonderful husband happy first anniversary!

Nothing Else Matters.

Love,

Clare

Holiday Budgeting

So as I'm going on my holidays on Sunday I thought I'd do a few 'going away' themed posts for you today! So this is the first and probably the most serious, I present to you my top tips of holiday budgeting when you've got children.

- Budget yourselves as parents.
You know how much money you have, in cash or card so sit down before you set out or on your first evening and divide it up over how many days you are away for. Sometimes things crop up, especially whenever children are travelling too, however take this into account for future days, you will have to reduce your budget over multiple days OR from one, depending on how much has eaten into your budgets. I usually carry an extra $20/€ on top of my daily cash allowance plus we carry cards (as an example).
- Budget the children.
It sounds so, so cruel but children honestly do not need everything. They are no less of a person if they don't have things and you are no less of a parent by denying them. Their eyes can get very big when away, especially in attractions such as Disney and other theme parks. Give them spending money at the beginning of the day so that they know how much they have. This is better for older children, younger children obviously don't understand that value of money but it is still a nice experience for them to have their own cash in their own purse to spend. I'm a firm believer that children should not share adult concerns and never tell my child that we cannot afford something (even if we can't), I would like her to be young and enjoy it for as long as possible.
- Get them involved early.
A piggy bank/jar/tin is a wonderful thing. By getting them to save early and put money towards their own holiday spending money you will feel incredibly grown up and excited as they watch their balance grow over the weeks before you go away. I typically give Moo 50p pocket money a week and everything 20p and smaller from my purse at the end of the week. Even if its just a few pence, it all adds up and she's at the age where she's just excited to put the money in! Just before you go, take them to have the money changed (lots of supermarkets have those CoinStar machines), then to have it converted into currency. It's a big adventure for them and kills a morning successfully.
- Buy in bulk where you can.
If you're self-catering (even if you're not) try to go to a local supermarket and stock up on things that you think you will get through a lot of. An ideal example for this is bottled water. You will always need to have drinks throughout the day. You will save money by taking your own bottled water out with you.
- Avoid excess luggage charges.
If you're flying, watch out for excess luggage charges when travelling with a baby. Unless you're going to outer-Mongolia, chances are the will be nappies on sale near you. Buy them when you get to your destination and only take enough for your journey to save space and weight in your luggage.
- Exchange your currency early.
I know everyone knows this but I'm going to say it anyway. It's important. NEVER BUY YOUR CURRENCY AT THE AIRPORT/FERRY/YOUR DESTINATION it is notoriously bad value. Everyone and their dog does currency now so there really is no excuse. Research rates online in advance, I find that the Post Office and Marks and Spencer are the best though my mother-in-law swears byThomas Cook. If you live in a large or destination city/town there will be independent currency shops dotted about also that often have very competitive rates.
- Get a pre-paid travel card.
This is my husband's thing and he swears by it. We hold one for dollars and one for euros with Fairfx. There are a lot of different ones out there, this is just the company that we happen to use. You usually have to pay a small fee when they issue the card, then you load up your money and use it as you would your regular credit and debit cards. You get a slightly worse exchange rate on your money on a pre-paid card than you would cash currency, however you do not have to pay a fee for every time you use it like you do with your regular credit and debit cards, you also have the security of not carrying all your money in cash. You can have second cards issued so you and your partner have one each though we just carry one. If you have a credit card, take that also in case of emergencies. If you had planned to use your credit card for your spending money, you can load up the pre-paid from your credit card without facing any charges for using it abroad. Avoid using your debit card abroad wherever possible. They are incredibly expensive to use; you will be charged heavily per transaction.
- Going to a resort? Make it work for YOU!
All inclusive? Got meal vouchers? Get the full 'bang for your buck'. If your resort offers unlimited cold drinks/snacks/food etc make sure you get your money's worth and minimise dining out. If you're staying at a resort such as Disney that offers a meal voucher scheme and you buy into it, make sure you are getting full value. They are usually charge at one flat rate and offer dining at a variety of venues. Do your research, the only restaurants that they're actually worth buying for are usually the highest rated two or three. Most do not offer great value for money and it would be cheaper to 'pay as you go' so look up the menus before purchasing and ensure that the more expensive food is cuisine that your family are likely to eat. If not, it's probably cheaper to just budget for your meals out of your money rather than paying in advance
- Check your bank.
It's not said often, but banks are great! By upgrading your account you can usually save big time on things like home insurance, break-down cover, gadget-cover and yes, travel insurance! We are with Lloyds TSB and have the basic upgrade of silver on our joint account. It is £10 a month and we use all of the previously mentioned services. It saves us money on our gadget cover alone. Because we are paying it anyway, it meant that we didn't have to take out travel insurance, we are already covered and only need notify them should we need to make a claim. Most bank upgrades offer travel insurance as basic though be sure to call them if you're travelling with children, it usually only covers two of you and you will need to pay an excess to add your children (ours is £25 to add Moo for the year). Do it at the last minute so that you get the maximum usage out of it (you might be able to squeeze a second trip out of it if you plan your holidays accordingly).
- Buy in advance.
If you have an idea of what you're going to do whilst away, you can often by tickets for events and attractions cheaper online in advance before you go. It's usually around 20% off of the gate price.

So there we are, just a few little things that we use when travelling. I'm sure there're other things that I've missed or forgotten, if you know of any handy hints yourself, please comment to help others!

Clare