My Story Monday - Bear

Happy Monday everyone! Today I'm going to tell the birth story of my second child, Bear (or Baby Bear as we call him as he's currently such a squidge). He was long-awaited as everyone was so sure he would arrive early...but was in fact thirteen days overdue (and only came then because he was forcibly evicted), so here's his little slice of drama...

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you'll know how desperate I was to have this baby out of me, but as my midwife kept saying...I was too good of a host and he was clearly very cozy in there. I really didn't want o be induced, in fact, I was terrified of it and the after care I might receive as a result of ending up at the Conquest hospital in Hastings. I tried everything to get the little pudding out but no such luck sadly and so on the morning of Saturday September 7th, the husband and I found ourselves doing a 7am ASDA run for snacks, magazines and treats after dropping Moo off for a very tears goodbye.

We arrived not long after eight and were almost immediately shown to the room on the pre-natal ward that was for women being induced. There were two others there; another woman from Eastbourne who was being induced early because of problems with her loos pressure (poor thing, she was quite poorly) and a young girl from Horam who was really unimpressed at the fact shed been there 24 hours and nothing was happening for her. I got the impression she was quite young from her attitude (she was also a smoker, ick).

I was given the prostin and left to my men devices, we witnessed the other lady (who was on the drip) go into labour and head off for delivery, leaving us to watch bad TV on the ridiculously-charged screen above the bed and entertain ourselves. Food was disgusting, husband had to fend for himself...we took a couple of walks but it was freezing, ended up in the coffee sop spending more money than needed.

At some point in the late afternoon I started to get pains but they were nothing  much to write one about...and by 7pm husband suggested he go home and get some rest in case he had to return in the middle of the night (they were going to kick him off at 9pm and the drive is about 40mins). I said that was probably a good idea, not much was happening, so off he went, leaving me alone, feeling a bit sad and teary but I figured I too could use the sleep.

Half an hour later or so things started getting a bit painful so I wen and asked for some paracetamol. It had no effect so about nine I buzzed for the midwife...I was in quite a bit of pain by this point and running my own back through contractions (which is very difficult). She examined me and said I was only 2-3cm and that it might not be 'real', she'd get me a script for some pethedine. I said that was fine though when she returned, it was without the drugs, saying all the doctors were in surgery, I'd have to wait. So wait I did and it was agonising. I'm convinced she still didn't believe I was in labour. Ninety minutes after she examined me, she finally brought the injection and administered it without re-examining me (this is where I think thins started to go wrong). She reassured me that if it was real t would take the edge off, if it wasn't it'd knock me out and I'd get good sleep ready to try again tomorrow. Did it knock me out? Yes...but each contraction re-awoke me and they were agonising. I buzzed again, begging for help (this is where I totally lost my dignity and I'm so ashamed) and she agreed to monitor me. I'm not really sure what happened next, I know that at one point I was asking someone to get my husband, pleading with them that I needed him and I was in and out. All I know is that the midwife was shaking me awake to tell me a midwife had come from labour with a wheelchair to take me to delivery and that I could call my husband (from my own phone, charming) when I got there and found out what was going on. Like I said, my dignity was completely gone by this stage, I was moaning and begging for help and whining like a child (seriously, I'm so embarrassed)...and as I was being wheeled I felt the desperate need to push so I said 'I really need the toilet...I don't want to poo myself'. They started to wheel me a little faster and when I got in the room I rushed to the bathroom, being called out to by my new midwife to 'please be careful'.

Collapsing on the bed, really unsure of what was happening, the midwife told me to call my husband before she examined me...I think she could tell I was close. So I rang his mobile twice and got no answer so bit the bullet and called the landline without a clue what the time was (it was 12:54am), this waking my daughter, husband, mother-in-law and her partner. I shouted 'you need to come now' at my husband before hanging up on him...I had to follow with a text that read 'delivery' so he went to the right ward. Smooth. I know.

I was then examined and panic ensued. My midwife turned to to her student shadow and told her to get more help and a doctor, the baby's heartbeat wasn't right...and I remember not panicking, just thinking that I was so desperately out of control of it all...as the doctor came in and a floor of other women, my midwife told her that I was fully dilated, waters 'bulging' (I know...ew) and that the heartbeat was at fifty. The doctor instructed her to break the waters and at that point I started to tell about pushing, she very calmly shrugged and said 'well go on then'. The normal me probably would've punched her for being so incredibly blase about the whole thing.

With three pushes and at 1:06am Baby Bear entered the world, seven minutes after I was examined and twelve after I was permitted to call my husband. Remember I said home was forty-minutes away? Yeah...my husband missed the whole event...ran in twenty-five minutes later to a lot of blood, a lot of people and both his wife and baby in shock. He was slightly unimpressed, mainly because he was distressed at the thought of me doing the whole thing 'alone'. At 5am they transferred me to the post-natal ward and my husband was asked to leave to return at 9, so he drove home. Again.

Luckily we were discharged at 2pm that day after some not-unpleasant but certainly not attentive after-care on the ward and he has settled into life at one nicely...though I wish he'd stop spitting up all over me!

Clare

My Story Monday - An Announcement

Happy Monday everyone!!

Just a quick one today, I'm sure you can all guess what I'm about to say...I'd like to introduce to you the latest addition to our family; Baby Bear!

He was born in Hastings on Sunday September 8th at 1:06am weighing a chunky 8lbs11oz! Big boy!

I'll post his birth story next Monday (definitely come back, it's a cracker) so until then, here he is; long awaited and very much loved (especially by Moo).

Clare

My Story Monday - Hannah

Hello! Happy Monday! Just so you're aware, I scheduled this post five days in advance because of my induction on Saturday, I'm hoping that I've had a baby busy this point but may still be in hospital...if you follow me on Twitter, you probably already know if I am with or without baby!

That said, today's post is really relevant, it's Hannah from Make Do and Push (one of my favourite blogs) and her story of being induced!

It all began on the Wednesday; I had an appointment to be induced on the Day Assessment Unit and then the plan was to go home and ride it out until I was dilated enough to be admitted to the Labour ward. However, Grape hadn't been moving as much as usual that morning (ditto the previous morning) so I was admitted to be induced. Four hours of very stressful waiting later I was strapped to a CTG monitor, and was given the green light for the pessary. I was given a high score on the Bishops Score and told by Midwife #2 that this pessary would probably do the job as my cervix was "favourable", and my waters would be broken later that evening if they didn't break by themselves before. Skip forward to half past midnight...after being examined by Midwife #3 I was still only 2cm dilated, she didn't think my cervix was favourable and couldn't break my waters. After inserting another pessary, she advised that Nick and I get some sleep, and she kindly found him a mattress.

GUSH!
3am - I am woken up by my waters breaking and the contractions starting thick and fast. Nick is fast asleep on the mattress, and I spend a good few minutes trying to wake him up before I buzz for a midwife (he was there in his boxers and thought he'd appreciate having more clothes on!) Enter Midwife #4 who advises I have a bath to help with the contractions. Bathroom is opposite post-natal ward and is full to the brim with sleeping babies... I am so worried that I am going to wake them, so try breathing through the contractions as quietly as I possibly can! However, as soon as I sink into the warm water I feel the very painful and uncomfortable urge to push, so we make our way back to our room and I inform Midwife #4 of my urge to push; she dismisses this as I'm only 2cm dilated (she doesn't re-examine me). I request pain relief as per my "birth plan"... Entonox is refused but I am offered paracetamol and codeine, which unsurprisingly doesn't help at all. My contractions are becoming more frequent by now so I'm transferred to the Labour ward.

The Labour Ward
We're taken upstairs in the lift and shown to our birthing room by Midwife #5. By this point I am so exhausted as have been awake since 5:30am on Wednesday morning, and am in so much pain I feel like I might die. Honestly. My contractions were at least every minute and once again my urge to push was ignored by the Midwife. It was suggested that I try a different position so found myself perched on a birthing ball, the front of a chair and then kneeling on a bean bag (the room looked like a soft play area when I was fully conscious again). Eventually, at around 7am, Midwife #5 gave in and let me have pethidine. She told Nick that I would do well to get some sleep as she didn't think Grape would be here before the afternoon/evening as I wasn't fully dilated (she still hadn't examined me), so they lifted me up onto the bed...all I can remember is the intense agony of my stomach going hard with every contraction and Nick holding my hand. I remember repeatedly screaming "Get her out of me! Please! Get her out of me!", but other than telling Nick to ssh once I was remarkably polite to him.

A Dramatic Entrance
Midwife #5 hands over to Midwife #6, who examines me as soon as she begins her shift.
"Hannah, you beauty, you're fully dilated!" she exclaims.
"I knew it!" I say, "I've been wanting to push since I had my bath" 
"Really? Did you tell Midwife #5?" 
"Yes. And Midwife #4!"
Ahh communication in the NHS...
I get up off the bed and instantly feel better, and like I really really REALLY need to push now! Midwife #6 finally hands me the entonox and pops out of the room to let the Chief Midwife know that Grape is going to arrive fairly soon; by the time she comes back into the room I'm kneeling on the bed with a head nearly poking out! She advises Nick of the Assistance Button and the Emergency Button("but we won't be needing to use that one") just in case help is needed. A few pushes later Grape lands on the bed - I thought Midwife #6 had caught her - and she's placed in my arms. I look down at the little person who has been growing inside me for 9 months, and through the pethidine, entonox and shock, I am met with such an intense rush of love for her. She gives a small cry and turns purple.
"Midwife #6 - I don't think she's breathing!" I stutter. Midwife #6 takes Grape off me and calmly says to Nick: "Press the emergency button". The next thing I know Grape's cord is cut and there are a team of Doctors with the crash cart trying to pump oxygen into her lungs. Nothing prepares you for that feeling of dread. Your mind descends into the darkest of places. "Is my baby going to die?" swamps your thoughts. Nick and I stare in horror, tears pouring down our faces. Finally Grape gives another cry and starts turning pink. The Doctors confirm she is ok and she's handed to me again. It turns out you shouldn't give pethidine to a mother an hour and a half before she gives birth - and if communication had been better, if Midwife #5 had listened to me and not just dismissed my pain as first-time labour inexperience, we could have been spared those terrifying few minutes where our baby wasn't breathing.

Labour was all over in just under 6 hours, which is considered quick for a first time Mutti. I'm extremely thankful it didn't last any longer!

Baby Busby
After an hour or so of staring at Grape in awe, love and all-consuming devotion we still hadn't come up with a name. Our favourite name - Matilda - didn't suit her, so we were racking our brains for other names that had been on our list. Busby was the first name we came up with for the list back in April/May time and it suited her perfectly. Beautiful Busby.

I hope I haven't put those of you out there who don't have children yet off. Yes it was the most painful thing I will probably ever experience in my life, but it was completely and utterly worth it for the little bundle of Busby at the end. I spent the entirety of labour saying to Nick "I'm not having anymore. I'm not going through this again." but despite the pain there is nothing quite like the elation you feel right at the end when you know you're about to meet your baby. But hey, that could've just been the entonox!

Thank you Hannah for sharing your story today!

If you would like to share your true birthing story then please check out the intro post!

Clare

The Big Birth Baddy

With my due date having come and gone now and my induction booked, the nerves are creeping in. I'm not just talking about the usual pre-birth, I don't want to poo myself fear that I've had since the moment that second little line popped up, the normal pregnancy fears, it is so, so much more than that to me.

I've already shared with you Moo's birthing story, and in the grand scheme of things it was actually a rather pleasant experience.

It was the series of events after that shook me up, saw me offered an apology from my local health authority and left me feeling like some kind of evil mother.

Moo was born at 11:47pm and after the usual stitching, cleaning and cuddling, I had a bath and my husband went home. I was taken down onto the ward at around 2am which is where the kind midwife, Amanda, who delivered our daughter, left me. She had to, that was her job, there were other women on the labour ward, she had to go back and I don't dislike her for it.

No one on the post-natal ward came to introduce themselves or ask if I was okay, Moo hadn't had a feed, I was a first-time mother and twenty-four. I didn't have a clue. When I buzzed a couple of hours later, no one came to help me, or thirty minutes later and it wasn't until I was desperately trying to figure out how to change a nappy full of meconium that someone came. To tell me off. My light had disturbed another woman in the room and it was only 5am. The midwife was really short with me when I explained that I didn't know how to feed my daughter and didn't seem to understand that I didn't really know where or how to start. She left within five minutes after tossing some suggestions my way,

Words cannot describe how desperate I was for 9am to roll around and for my husband to be allowed onto the ward (except he slept in by mistake and only made it for 10 because his Nan woke him up). I was so relieved to see him, to know that I was no longer on my own. I had somehow been over-looked at breakfast but as lunch came round, I could only muster a sandwich as the line to get something was so long. A midwife came to tell me I'd be in at least another night because I had allowed my daughter to go 24 hours from waters breaking until contractions and so she was an infection risk and had to be monitored every two hours. I wouldn't of minded had they actually been doing that, but this was the first time I'd seen anyone since the wicked witch at 5am and it was lunch time! Moo still hadn't had a feed but no one had time to stop to help me, I was finally offered breast-feeding assistance at about 4pm by which point I was getting quite panicky about her health. We tried for two hours but were unsuccessful so my husband, with my Dad, pushed for formula to feed her to at least give her something.

It was a further three hours before we were permitted a small bottle of formula to give her as an emergency as she was born with an inverted bottom jaw and so unable to latch. 7pm. She was over nineteen hours old and hadn't had a thing, she guzzled that milk down. The two-hourly checks seemed to diminish into nothing and so I started to demand a self-discharge. I didn't want to be there, they'd done me very little in the ways of care and I could do a better job in my own home. The term 'social services' was mentioned casually...as in, they'd have to be notified if I self-discharged against their advice. I told them fine, I was pretty sure that I was in the right on this. 11pm rolled around, I was ready to go home, everything was packed, and a doctor came to give me some last-minute scare-mongering and to inform me that should anything happen to her in the night, they weren't to be held responsible. 

Coincidently, nothing did happen to Moo in the night. We took her to our GP the next morning and he performed all her first checks, she was perfectly fine and has remained a strong, healthy little girl ever since.

My community midwife was appalled at our treatment and filed a complaint on our behalf but to be honest, what could it do? The treatment we received was down to the busy nature of the ward, the under-staffing, the lack of money. Not the fault of the staff (though they all could've done with an attitude adjustment), it was above their heads.

People say that Bounty are evil, yet the friendliest person outside of my family that I saw on the ward was the Bounty lady...and she didn't even try to take a photo so...y'know...

The hospital's changed now, as I've mentioned before...it's midwife-led only and the ward where I had my nightmare, is closed and sits empty. All consultant-led services were shifted up the coast to Hastings...which would be fine...and will be fine...so long as Bear decides to make an appearance on his own. An induction will have to performed there and will require a stay on the ward. I can feel the panic rise within my chest at the very thought of it. I don't want to stay on a ward where I cannot relax, see my daughter and possibly face a repeat of last time, I honestly don't know how I will cope if it comes to that.

Wish me luck and send me labour vibes! I've got to get this little munchkin out before Saturday!

Clare

My Story Monday - Lauren

Happy Monday all! It's now September and I STILL am without a baby. Huff.

Anyways, moving on...today's My Story Monday is all about Lauren from Belle Du Brighton and her elective Caesarian.

It took me a lot of time and in my mind an unnecessarily high amount of stress and effort to get the NHS to let me have an elective C section, it only being agreed 3 weeks before myndue date, and being scheduled for the day before, and finally happening on the day after, as we were put back due to emergencies, which of course I completely understand.

When we arrived at the hospital at 8am we were put into a room and told we were first that day, due to being sent home 2 days before, hurrah! I was given a gown that opened at the back to put on, & Sam some scrubs...(they just about fit him in an xxl, but his clog things were at least 2 sizes too small)! I was asked if I had taken the pills that they had given me to minimise stomach acid, and when I last ate or drank anything (no food after midnight and no water after 6am)!

Various people came in to introduce themselves, first the head surgeon with about 5 students. He had a feel of my bump (leaving my foo-foo on display to all) and looked through my notes then said the head still hadn't engaged (so lord knows how much longer I would've waited if I'd not had my section that day!) Then the anaesthesiologist guy came in, with a student and someone observing from another hospital...he explained how the spinal block would work, and gave me the opportunity to ask any questions. Then along came Pauline to say hi, she would be looking after me after the op, checking blood pressure and giving painkillers etc. Our midwife was Badil (I think she was Swedish?) who stuck a canular in my hand (after being reminded she should give me a local anaesthetic first) for the various things that needed to be dripped in to me, and taped over my wedding rings as I couldn't get them over my swollen sausage fingers by that point! I'd taken out/off all my other jewellery, but managed to sneak in with waterproof mascara and filled in eyebrows!

At about 9.25 they came to get us, and just as we walked into the theatre I decided I needed a pee, so toddled back out again, then Sam decided he needed one so he went out…then with relieved bladders we were ready to go!

The spinal wasn't half as bad as I expected, there was some cold spray (lots of it) that made me jump, then a local, then the actual needle to administer the block...I was asked to hunch over with a curved spine and push  backwards against the anaesthesiologists thumb, which is no mean feat when you've got a large bump in the way! Sam watched all this from the front so he didn't have to see anything sharp, they said husbands often faint so just don't give people the option anymore! I should mention at this point that I could see out of the window to the Marina, and watched a boat slowly work its way out to sea when I wasn't hunched over! It helped that it was gloriously sunny too! Once that needle was in and had done its business, I was spun onto my back and laid flat, my gown whipped up to form the screen so I couldn't see my lower half, and then a catheter was put in so I didn't piddle all over the operating table. Then the table was tilted slightly to the left, I forgot to ask why though! I thought I'd find someone inserting a catheter awkward, but it happened so fast and I didn't feel it anyway!

Some more cold spray was used to determine if I was numb enough in the right places, I was, so it was all systems go! Sam was seated next to my head on the left, Marc the anaesthesiologist just behind me and his assistant next to him. They did a role call (12 people including us! Students and onlookers etc) and then got to it! Sam and I chatted to Marc about amusing stories from working in hotels, some of which he couldn't believe, but it kept my mind off the strange tugging sensation I could feel... And then before we knew it the surgeons assistant (her first assist apparently!) said ‘okay we're almost there, do you want us to hold baby up so you can see?’ YES obviously I'd been waiting 40 weeks and a day to know what gender this baby was! We heard a sucking noise, which at first I thought was the baby crying but was them suctioning blood/amniotic fluid out, THEN the unmistakable cry of a new-born who’d been dramatically whipped out into the real world! A few seconds later they lowered the screen a little and showed us this waxy baby, a girl with a full head of dark hair! (I may have got watery eyed at this point!) She looked pretty angry to be whipped out of her comfy space to be honest! She was taken to be wrapped up, and Sam went round to cut the cord and take a look at her!

Less than two minutes later Sam was back with her all wrapped in a towel, and oh my god she was amazing! Thick dark hair and long legs! After a minute or two the midwife asked if I wanted her on my chest, so she was carefully placed there so I could hold her (not skin to skin as I was still in a gown and she was in a towel) but we literally just sat and stared and got a bit teary with each other! I seem to remember saying ‘its a girl, a GIRL’ a fair amount, as 95% of people had predicted that she would be a he! We were asked what we were going to call her, and everyone said what a lovely name, and made predictions for her future (an investigative journalist)?!

After about 25 minutes (of stitching up time) someone apparently shoved a painkiller up my behind (I have no recollection of this, and didn't feel it obviously) and then we were wheeled into recovery. The next hour is a bit of a blur of cuddles, skin to skin contact and attaching Athena to start to feed, which was painful, but so worth it! I was allowed to try and eat some bread and tea after a little bit, which I promptly brought back up, and the same thing happened when I tried again, only this time there was nobody with me to give me the sick bowl (I was napping), and I spectacularly vomited fountain style whilst lying on my back, so it went all over me, the pillows, the floor…LUCKILY I wasn’t holding Athena, she was safely in her crib thing out of harms way! Sam and the nurse arrived back at the  same time to find me covered and looking very sorry for myself! The nurse helped to change me and I was given an anti sickness something or other in my cannula as well as the drip, and a liquid oral painkiller as by this point I'd vommed up 4 paracetomol!

We were told we would be taken downstairs to the post-natal wards once a bed was ready, which was at about half past two, so by 3pm we were downstairs in a bed on a ward of 4 other new mothers. Every so often someone came to check out my blood pressure and temperature, and changed my catheter bag. It was SO AMAZING not to feel like I needed to pee every 12 minutes, as I had for the last 4 months of my pregnancy due to her head being practically IN my bladder for so long. Sam went to find some hot food as he was starving, and I napped a little with Athena on my chest…when he came back we took lots of pictures to send to various relatives and friends, and just sat and gawped at her/each other with complete shock!

That night was spent with her mainly on my chest alternative between feeding and sleeping, but I really didn't get much rest because of all the various noises, the lady next door had a baby that spent most of the night crying, and the other two women snored. Long story short, I was ‘released’ at about 7pm the next day, so only spent 36 hours in hospital. They just wanted to know that I was passing urine okay once my catheter was out and that I was mobile (I had a shower and stood up straight the moment I felt I could, as my stitches didn't really hurt much at all) and gave me a load of various painkillers to take home, along with 7 little needles with something or other in to inject myself in the belly with to help prevent blood clots, which wasn’t an issue for me as I'm fine with needles. Sam had headed off home with most of my bags (obviously I had packed as if I would be in for 3+ days as I was told 3 is about average after a C section) and had comeback with the car seat, so once I was dressed (I wore the clothes I had worn in the day before) we called a taxi and headed home! Sitting in our living room, only the day after but with a brand new baby was surreal, I'll tell you that for nothing!

So there you have it, the story of how Athena arrived in our lives on June 6th 2013!

I'd like to thank Lauren for sharing he story here with us today, if you'd like to share your real birth story (positive or negative) then please read the intro post here.

Clare

My Story Monday - Claire

Hello! Happy Monday! IT'S MY DUE DATE!!

And STILL no baby. Heavy. Sigh.

Anyways, today's My Story Monday features Claire (great name) from What Elsa Wears and is all about the birth of her daughter, Elsa.

Having been off work for almost four weeks I had kept myself busy with overseeing the building of our new conservatory. With a due date of 30th September (5th October according to my dates!) and fully expecting to go two weeks over due I thought I would have plenty of time to get all the jobs done. 

Fortunately I did, but only in the nick of time. On the morning of Thurs 27th Sept our new conservatory sofas were delivered and I headed out to do a bit of shopping. A trip to M&S for some food and off to buy a nest of tables for the conservatory. 

A 2.30pm-ish I was back home, assembling my new tables. I shifted slightly to put in another screw and felt a strange popping sensation and a huge gush of water all over me and the sofa. Fortunately not the new sofa, it was, happily, the leather (wipe clean!) sofa. 

My first thought was 'have I just wee'd myself?', but I was pretty sure that despite my enormous state I was still in full control of my bladder. There was also a very distinctive smell!

This threw me a bit, in the classes we'd been to and the stories I'd heard I couldn't recall anyone mentioning their waters going before any twinges or contractions. I made a phone call to S at work telling him that he probably wouldn't be in work the next day and a phone call to the LGI asking for advice. They told me that there was no rush but to come down as and when so they could have a look at me. 

So at 5.30pm, shortly after S got home, we headed on down to the LGI. I was seen in the Maternity Assessment Centre where they hooked me up to a monitor to do a trace and suggested an internal to check that my waters had actually gone. Fortunately one of the things I did remember from the Antenatal class was to keep any pads if your waters have gone. As I whipped the pads out of my bag the midwife took one sniff (gross, I know) and confirmed that it was definitely my waters and no need to do an internal. Phew, the less poking about up there the better!

I was packed off home and told to come back the following day by 2.30pm if nothing had happened but hopefully sooner. 

Back at home I started to have mild pains around 7.30pm but the quickly progressed to being uncomfortable. I was mindful of the advice of not to leave it too long before using the TENS machine so I popped that on. If you have never used a TENS machine it can only be described as WEIRD. I don't think it did anything to take the pain away, but it was merely a distraction and something else to think about. 

I decided to get an early night as I wasn't sure if I would be having to get up very early in the morning!

Friday 28th September

I didn't have to get up very early. Absolutely nothing happened overnight, I did manage to sleep but not that brilliantly. The contractions had picked up however and were coming every 6 minutes. I spent most of the morning bouncing on my birthing ball and cranking the TENS machine up to the highest level. 

Around midday I mentioned to S that I was a bit concerned not to have felt the baby move all morning. He phone the LGI and they advised us to come down. At this point the contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes. But strangely the 15 minute drive to the LGI seemed to put a stop to the contractions. 

We arrived at the LGI at around 12.30pm and I was put on a monitor to trace the baby's heartbeat. The contractions did start up again but were every 10-15 minutes apart. 

I was told that the delivery ward was full but as soon as a bed became free I would be taken down and they would look at putting me on a drip to get the contractions going again. 

For 5 hours I was on the maternity assessment ward waiting for a delivery room. They were 5 long hours, separated from the other women in labour by a mere curtain. 

At 5.30pm I was told that there was a space for me on delivery so I walked on down. Much to my horror I wasn't put in a delivery room, but what can only be described as the medical stock room. There were three beds, me and two other women in this room where staff kept coming in an out to collect medical supplies from the cupboards. To say I was not happy is the understatement of the year. 

Whilst in this room I started to feel the need for some pain relief. The midwife looking after me suggested co-codamol and went off to get some. 10 minutes later she returned with two paracetamol in hand and advised that I couldn't have co-codamol as there was no doctor available to sign it off! I refused the paracetamol. 

Shortly after this, at around 7pm I was moved to the room in which I would give birth. Room 3. Every time I see the room on One Born Every Minute I have to point out that it is 'our' room!

There was a change of shift at 7.30pm and our lovely midwife Rachel joined us. By this point I was 4cm dilated so I was told that they wouldn't bother with the drip, they would just let things happen naturally. The midwife got the Gas and Air going. This was good for a while but has given me very hazy memories of what happened. 

The Gas and Air made me feel like I was the most drunk I have ever been in my life. S says that I was coherent and having full conversations between contractions but I felt dizzy, sick and didn't know what planet I was on. 

I requested diamorphine. This was not going to plan. The diamorphine brought temporary relief, it let me ease up on the Gas and Air for a while. But I think I had it too late. It didn't do enough. I was exhausted and in absolute agony. 

I did what I said I absolutely would not do. I asked for an epidural. 

I had told S many times that I did not want an epidural and if I asked for one he was to talk me out of it. He did his best, but there is only so much you can say to a mad, screaming pregnant lady. 

An hour after I requested the epidural the anesthetist arrived. This was around 10pm. She put all the tubes in my back and was about to administer the epidural when all the sirens went off. She had to go to an emergency. I think I remained quite calm when she told me she would have to go but would be back as soon as possible to administer the epidural. Inside I wanted to kill someone. 

Two hours later the anesthetist returned. Midnight. The epidural was put in and I could feel nothing. Absolute bliss. 

Saturday 29th September

Once the anesthetist left the midwife examined me. I was 10cm dilated. 

I was told that there was no point pushing as the epidural meant I wouldn't be able to feel it and I should get a couple of hours sleep. There was nothing I could do about it at the time, but with hindsight I am absolutely furious. Had I been examined before the epidural finally went in I probably wouldn't have had it. I had waited those two longs hours for it to be put in and during that time my body had got where it needed to be. 

So I went to sleep. 

At 3am I was woken by the midwife and told it was time to start pushing. 

I pushed and pushed and pushed. I remember the midwife saying that I was doing brilliantly and getting really annoyed with her because I knew I wasn't. Baby wasn't moving anywhere, I was pushing as hard as I could and getting no where. 

At 4am a lady who was probably a doctor came in and said that I had another 30 minutes to get baby out. I think she gave me a bit longer. About 45 minutes later she returned and I was still no closer. 

She told me that they were going to help me. There were three scenarios. The first; forceps delivery where we were, the second; a forceps delivery in surgery if they were struggling, the third; if worst came to worst a c-section. As this point I did not care what happened as long as they got the baby out of me. 

The instruments were wheeled in. Several more people appeared in the room. S saw the instruments lined up and says it's a good job I didn't see them. He couldn't believe the size of the forceps. 

The doctor told me she would give me three contractions to get the baby out before we went to surgery. I felt the scissors cut me and the forceps put in position. On the first contraction, with a big yank on the forceps, her head was born. 

I then had the most bizarre couple of minutes of my life, where everyone was stood around chatting and I was laid with a baby's head between my legs. I could feel her head there, it was a surreal time. 

Her body was born with the next contraction. 

Elsa Florence, born at 5.30am on Saturday 29th September 2012 weighing 8lbs. 

She was put strait on my chest and S cut the cord.

The rest is a bit of a blur. I delivered the placenta and I remember them talking about what a good cord it was, very thick, and holding it up to show me. I have no idea what a good cord looks like, I have nothing to compare it to!

Not long after Elsa was born I started throwing up. I had managed to make it through the whole pregnancy without being sick only to throw up afterwards. 

I was stitched up and taken up to the maternity ward. I was resolutely determined that I would not be spending the night in hospital and we finally managed to get home at 8.30pm that evening. 

My birth didn't go to the plan I had in my head. I had not done a birth plan as I thought I would go with the flow, but as it turns out giving birth is much more difficult than I had ever imagined. My ideas of a water birth went out of the window due to the risk of infection from my waters being broken over 24 hours. My determination not to have an epidural was quickly shot. But it doesn't matter. Elsa got here safely, that is all that matters. 

Although I hope it is a bit easier if I go through it again!

I'd like to thank Claire for sharing her experience here with us today!

If you'd like to share your true birth story then please check out the intro post here.

Clare

My Story Monday - Kelly

Happy Monday everyone!! Today's My Story Monday features Kelly for, Tia's Mum 12 and is the real birth story of her beautiful daughter, Tia.

3am Sunday 26th August my waters broke on yet another trip to the toilet.

Of course I had no idea that’s what had actually happened, I thought I had just maybe not made it in time! I had only been in bed a few hours so was tired and not thinking straight. Then the stomach ache started, I went and woke my husband after confirming on google that I was most likely in labour (yes honestly) I told him that I thought I was in labour, he looked at the time and wanted to know if I was sure. Men!

I called the labour ward to ask what to do while he called his mum to pre-warn her; she was to be my second birth partner. The contractions seemed to get worse while I was in the phone.

We were asked to go in for a check up as I said I was pretty sure my waters had gone and was getting regular contractions. The hospital is a 30 minute drive away during daylight hours, we did it in 15! I can’t remember much about the drive there, I remember being really scared but also really excited about finally meeting baby Finn. Were we getting a son or a daughter? I could not wait to find out!

When we arrived I handed over my notes and was asked to provide a water sample, I then was shown to a room and given an internal examination *crosses legs*. She said that I wasn’t dilated at all, not what I wanted to hear. She went off to find me a tens machine to take back home with me and gave me some co-codamol to help with the pains. When she returned empty handed as she could not find a spare one, I was having a particularly bad contraction and she said I might as well stay. She said they had enough room and I would only be driving back in an hour or so anyway. I was so grateful, I could not bear to go back home.

Let me tell you I am RUBBISH at labour, I had planned a lovely peaceful water birth with minimal pain relief. That all went out of the window, I could not even bounce on the birthing ball as baby was back to back and every movement I made was pure agony.

My mother-in-law arrived around 7am if I remember rightly and put me straight at ease, my husband tells me I wasn’t really interested in anything he or the poor midwife had to say but I was well behaved for his mum! She helped me through the contractions with the gas and air, reminding me to keep calm and breath.

At some point later on I was told that I really needed to try and eat something, I managed to eat a small banana and drink some sugery Ribena but neither stayed down very long. Labour is not at all glamorous! I persisted with the Ribena, I was so thirsty. Most likely brought on by the gas and air which I had not put down since I arrived in my little room!

A few hours later I was offered stronger pain relief, I asked for diamorphine which involved an injection which was a big deal for me, I have always been terrified of needles! It worked and I was able to get some much needed sleep

17 hours into my labour after another internal I was told I was only 4cm dilated and I was going to need some help. This involved another needle, a big one in my hand attached to a drip. It was going to help move things along. I had another dose of diamorphine and went back to sleep.

I don’t remember much of the later stages of my labour as I spent most of it drugged up and asleep, which makes me sad as its not what I had wanted or imagined. The next thing I remember was being woken up at 3am Monday 27th August, the midwife told me it was time to start pushing!

Now I was really awake, and very alert and I knew from reading books that it was very important that I did exactly what my midwife told me to now. She told me to push with every contraction, down in my bum and for as long as I could. At 3.14am I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen. She was perfect, and it really was true love at first sight. My husband cut her cord, I could see tears streaming from his face, he was so proud! When she was put on my chest I checked her all over, her eyes were wide open looking all around. I had to hand her over to my husband for her to have her checks and be weighed while I was given yet another injection so I would pass the placenta. When she was passed back she latched on to my breast and it was the most amazing feeling ever, she made us three, a family.

I'd like to thank Kelly for sharing her story with us all today, I think this has to be one of my favourites as it's just lovely.

If you'd like to share your true birthing story, then check out the intro post here.

Clare

My Story Monday - Abi

Happy Monday all! Today's My Story Monday is all about Abi from Mum in a Hurry and her two children. Enjoy! 

Joshua. 

I had my sweep on the Saturday. Then that afternoon I started getting contractions. First they were quite infrequent (every hour maybe) and then they started coming more regularly. By 9pm they were around every 4-5 minutes. So I rang the delivery suite and they told me to ring again later as the contractions were not that strong, but they carried on coming and when they were 2-3 mins apart we decided to go in. After being checked out it turned out I was still only one cm dilated and also my contractions went really irregular and slowed down pretty much as soon as we got to the maternity ward…so we were sent home. 

We managed to get a few hours sleep (was gone 3am by the time we got home and I think we were up at 7 – or I was) before the contractions started again with avengence on Sunday. By the afternoon the contractions were very painful and getting closer together but still irregular – ie one would be 2 mins apart then another would be 10 mins then 4 then 3 then 6 etc. We went in but unfortunately I was still only 1.5cms dilated so we were sent home again. However, the contractions got worse and worse until I just couldnt cope with the pain anymore! So we went in and told them I needed pain relief. This was Sunday evening quite late by this point. After examining me I was 2-3 cm dilated so still not that far along (for those of you not familiar with childbirth terms you have to be 10cm dilated before baby will come out). I was allocated a room in the delivery suite and given gas and air to breathe and continued using my Tens machine (like a slendatone but plugs into your back and electric pulses (attempt) to block out the pain). 

It was getting very late on Sunday night and my pains were getting very bad but I wasnt really getting anywhere so they said I could have some pethadin which would allow me to sleep and they sent Ben home for the night. The pethadin was great and totally blocked out the pain although (at least until I fell asleep) I could feel that they were happening but they didn't hurt anymore. I slept until about 5am when the pethadin started to wear off and I started to feel the contractions again. They were still very painful but less frequent than they had been before (between 5 and 20 mins apart – still irregular). Ben came back to the hospital that morning (around 8 or 9) and I was examined again and found to be still only about 2-3 cm dilated. I was told to keep taking the gas and air and that going for a little walk might bring the contractions on more regularly. So Ben and I went for a little walk around the hospital and boy did it work. It got to the point I could barely walk as I was doubled over in pain and I was crying as we got back to the delivery suite. I asked for more pain relief but because I was still only maximum 3cm dilated they couldnt give me pethadin (I'm not sure I'm remembering all the details correctly as it's all turning into a bit of a blur). So they suggested I have a bath which I did and it didn’t really help at all. I can’t remember the timings but later on I pretty much demanded an epidural. After that was in place everything stopped hurting. It was fabulous! However they didn’t get me the boost button within the 20 minutes (that’s how long the first dose is supposed to last) and so it started to wear off and even once the boost was in place it wasn’t having the desired effect (could feel pain in a small area of my back and started to feel the contractions again in my tummy). So they got the anaesthetist back to give me another boost and that seemed to resolve it.  

Sometime that afternoon they examined me again (last time they checked I’d been about 2-3 cms dilated). To their surprise I was already 9cm dilated. But I was told that I wasn’t ready to start pushing yet as they had to wait for the head to descend. So that took a little longer! Never thought that labour would involve so much waiting around! Eventually it was time to start pushing. As I had the epidural in place they had to monitor my stomach so that they could tell me when the contractions were coming – although I could sometimes feel a slight tightening of the stomach when they happened – and I had to push down (like when you’re having a poo). It's very strange pushing when you can’t feel a thing down there. I likened it to trying to sing in tune when you can’t hear yourself. Still, I’d rather that than the pain! Thank god for epidurals! I was pushing for about an hour and a half when they decided that they should call the consultant and find out what to do. To be honest, at that stage I didn’t care what they did I was so exhausted!

They used forceps and had to give me an episiotomy. As with everything since I had the epidural, I didn’t feel a thing pain-wise. I could feel movement and stuff being done down there but no pain. At 19:56 my baby came out. They handed him straight to me but as my legs were still in stirrups and I started to feel faint, I had to hand him back to the midwives (and to Ben). They gave me an injection to get the placenta out and was told to give one more push. However, as the placenta came out I started bleeding profusely. Basically I had what is called Post Partum Haemorrhage. While they were all fussing about trying to work out where the bleeding was coming from and stop it, I could see Ben holding JJ who was crying and I was lying on the table with my legs up in stirrups feeling like I was invisible…Seemed like no-one would tell me what was going on. Felt like I’d done my part now, I was going to be ignored! Ridiculous really but I wasn’t really very with it! The staff were just busy trying to “fix” me and Ben was trying to comfort our new baby. I can’t remember what happened first – feeling sick or feeling sleepy. I think I was sick first. I said “I think I’m going to be sick” and everyone was too busy to get me one of those cardboard sick bucket things…Ben managed to get one in the end but I think only after I had started being sick on myself – all over my shoulder and hair and even when I managed to get it in the tray that Ben was holding for me, I filled that one up and another one and another one. It was horrible. Then I started feeling sleepy and everyone kept saying to Ben, don’t let her go to sleep! I remember them asking me if I felt dizzy and me just replying that I just wanted to go to sleep! 

Apparently my blood pressure had shot right down (due to the blood loss – almost a litre and a half by all accounts) to 70 over almost nothing (not even sure what that means but it was very low) and so the midwives were scurrying round me trying to get a drip into me while the consultant and his people or person (there were at least 6 people in the room not including me and Ben) were busy stitching me up. 

I can’t remember much after that. I slept for a while. I’m not sure when Ben left to go home. But I was woken up at about 10/10.30pm by my midwife Jackie who asked me if I wanted to breast feed or bottle feed. I said breast and she showed me how to latch JJ on. This was in fact the first time I’d held him since that first time and I had been worrying about bonding as I’d been separated from him for (what felt like) so long but I think the breast feeding really helped me feel close to him. 

I stayed in the delivery suite Monday night and all of Tuesday while they monitored my blood pressure and gave me 3 units of blood and then I was transferred to the ward that night at around 9pm. Ben was allowed to stay long enough to help me get settled in with all my things and then was kicked out and I was left on my own. I struggled quite a lot as I still couldn’t get out of bed properly – the forceps bruised me front and back and it was incredibly painful to sit and get onto and off the bed and as I had to lie down to feed JJ it was quite tricky getting him out of his cot and onto the bed while lying down! And the midwives in the ward were (understandably) much busier and didn’t come for ages (if at all) when I rang the bell so I just had to manage. Suffice to say that by Wednesday morning I had well and truly had enough of that place and decided that I wanted to go home. I'd rather feel rubbish and have Ben’s and family’s support than be on my own in the maternity ward – for all those midwives and staff you are left pretty much on your own responsible for this new little creature you’ve created.

Alara.

In the last few weeks of pregnacy, I was having a pretty hard time – extremely uncomfortable, unable to sleep, depressed. My consultant (I had one of them due to traumatic first birth) booked me in for an induction, after doing a sweep, which got things moving but not enough. I had had weeks of braxton hicks contractions that would build up and build up, making me think it was going to happen. Then I’d go to have a bath or something and they would stop. Same thing, night after night. I had restless legs and could never get comfortable in bed. I found it an absolutely nightmare and was VERY unhappy. I went in for my first induction.

I went in for my 1st attempted induction on the 19th August.  It was intrusive and painful and horrible. And it didn’t work. I came back from hospital on the 21st August feeling like an utter failure. I don’t know why, in hindsight. Lala just wanted to stay comfy in there for a bit longer. But yes, I was utterly broken. Some family disagreements that had happened in the run up to the induction had not helped either. In fact, I’d go as far as to say the situation made my last few weeks of pregnancy more miserable than they needed to be. Still, I did have some amazing friends around to keep me going. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Finally, on 30th August 2010 labour started in earnest. There was no doubting it this time. This was about 12.30pm.

We went to hospital, Joshua went off with Grandpa. Hospital looked at me, sent me home but told me things were going the right way – around 1.30-2pm. Didn’t even get to have the bath and took about 1 mouthful of curry. Things started moving along almost as soon as I got home! So we headed back to hospital.

Around 4pm I asked for drugs but they were determined I was going to have a natural birth if possible – the midwife was fully read up on my notes from last time.

5pm – I got some lovely gas and air!

5.50pm – they moved me into the birth pool. I have to say it was bigger and hotter than I’d have imagined. It was lovely!!! I wore my nightie at first as was embarrassed but soon took it off when the pains started going as it was too annoying! All shame went out of the window!

She was born into the water. She actually came out in her sack (it was fully in tact – the midwife had to burst it to get her out I believe) – I’ve been told that is lucky – but it contributed to my needing stitches.

There was a bit of a scare with me shortly after the birth. I started to feel a bit feint and the midwifes had to rub my stomach to make sure I didn’t haemorage again. Not sure exactly how this stopped it but it worked. I lost a little blood but not enough to need a transfusion. I was even too busy to update my phone. Hubby did it for me. It was nearly midnight. I knew I had to go to sleep but I couldn’t help gazing at my beautiful little girl.

I'd like to thank Abi for volunteering her stories here with us today. If you're interested in sharing your true birthing story (good or bad) then please check out the intro post here.

Clare

Hospital Bag

Okay so I'm sure you're aware, the time is drawing near for me to pack up myself and my husband and ship off to the local hospital to give birth. When I had Moo I packed everything. I read and re-read and dissected about a million checklists online and in books to pick the exacts of what it was I needed to take with me. I was a woman possessed with being organised down to perfection.

And then she was born and I couldn't for the life of me find one of the three hats I had packed (why I thought I needed that many I don't know).

So this time around I've decided to pack more wisely, a huge deciding factor being that iPad the first sign of trouble I will be shipped off to another hospital, so packing light is going to be a must. Here's what I'm taking...

- Newborn nappies.

- Baby wipes.

- Travel changing mat.

- Rattle.

- 3x sleep suits.

- 3x vests.

- 2x scratch mitts.

- 2x socks.

- Hat.

- Coming home outfit.

- Blanket from home.

- Pyjamas.

- Slipper socks.

- Wash bag (toothbrush, toothpaste, flannel, shower gel, moisturiser, deodorant, lip balm).

- Comfortable bra.

- Cheap underwear.

- Maternity pads.

Not pictured I'm also taking a bikini top for the birthing pool, breast pads, my handbag because I never leave home without it and my maternity notes. My husband will have his own bag that will probably have his iPod and speaker, a magazine and a bottle of squash in which are things I also recommend. I'm hoping he remembers his phone charger also...

One thing I will admit to be unsure on at the moment is feeding equipment. I have a travel, single bottle steriliser with instructions and small bottle for formula feeding. With Moo I didn't take such things because I was so sure that I would breast feed, it was something I wanted to do and why not? It's a very natural thing?

I didn't factor into my birth plan, however, that old saying about the best laid plans of mice and men...Moo was born with an inverted bottom jaw (an overbite, basically) and I have a rather large bosom, shall we say. The two combined turned out to be a recipe of disaster. Multiple midwives tried to help me and her, we worked away at it for hours and I was devastated. After being alive for seventeen hours and having nothing in her stomach, my husband put his foot down and she was classified an emergency. They gave us formula as we had nothing with us (though had things at home). This is really a story for another time, as the aftercare we received with Maddy was not fantastic and I'm sure it's multiple situations like ours that contributed to the downgrading of our local services.

So this time I know that breast-feeding might not be on the agenda no matter how hard I try. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, I have had two very easy pregnancies in comparison to a lot of women and Moo's birth was strait-forward, I'm not super woman and natural or not, my body might not be able to do it. I am going to give it my hardest like I did before but I certainly won't be allowing my baby to starve for seventeen hours again (I hope that seventeen hours after birth, I'll be home). I have no excuse not to be prepared this time around, I think I will leave my feeding equipment in a separate bag in the car, then my husband can fetch should we need.

So that's my hospital bag! Please remember that this is not what I think every woman should take to the hospital with them. We are all different and I have made my decisions based on previous experience, the facilities I plan and may potentially go to, as well as the time of year that I'm due.

I will say, make sure you definitely have plenty of funds on you, cash or bank card, especially if it's your first baby...labour can take forever and those televisions aren't free!!

Clare