Bad Day

Sunday sucked. I went against my instincts, caused myself no–end of stress and wasted time and money on a journey I didn't need to take.

Bear had been poorly for a few days, a cold we had ALL caught from his sister, and on Sunday morning, I was struggling to console him with it. All he had as a cough and a runny nose, I knew it was nothing but I think being sat there on my own, which is rare for me, made me doubt myself.

I know there will be people reading this that will be thinking what the big deal is? That they're on their own with two, three, even four children from 8-6 whilst their husband works, but I'm not used to that as my husband works a handful of hours of the day out of the house and the rest he does from home. I suppose the fact that my husband is never far is my safety net.

On Saturday and Sunday this weekend he was running classes in the morning and then birthday parties in the afternoon, so was gone for hours.

So I called 111 and asked their advice. Because of Bear's age (ten weeks), they referred me to the out of hours clinic at the hospital and told me to head down. I had a problem. I don't drive and though the hospital isn't far, it's too far for Moo to walk...but I had no one to watch her as my mother-in-law was in hospital and her mother was away in Jersey. I couldn't get ahold of my husband who was working, and I ended up calling another relative.

It was hard, stressful work...only to be told what I knew all along; he was fine, it's viral and will clear on it's own. I could've saved myself taxi fare, our relative's day and myself a lot of stress if I had just gone with my instincts but I felt vulnerable with them on my own...for the first time I felt like I wasn't capable. It's one thing to be late or unorganised, another to be useless and out of depth over something so simple.

I've got to work on my crisis control and remember to follow my instincts.

Clare