Like everyone, I've made some mistakes in my life and now that I'm twenty-seven I can look back on them and think 'hmmm...I could've done that better'. You can't change the things you have/haven't done, but you can encourage your children to learn from your mistakes without being a controlling, super-freak. Today's post is all about the five things I would fall over myself to encourage Moo not to do...
1. Give up easily.
I didn't do well in GCSEs, I only did one year of A-levels and I dropped out of university. Twice. I have had job, after job in low-paid retail despite management experience, why? Because I give up easily. I get bored, I get stressed, I freak out, lose control and mess it up. I never pushed myself, when things got hard or boring, I cut and run.
2. Stay silent.
If someone is hurting her/upsetting her. I want her to speak up and tell someone, anyone, it doesn't have to be me. I will raise her to know that no matter what, she can tell me anything and everything.
3. Not be true to herself to avoid confrontation.
Growing up I would often stay quiet to make life easy on myself, I would take hurtful comments and opinions and just wait until I was alone to feel sorry for myself. Not only did this do me some serious damage later on in regards to depression, it did my strength of character no favours being a push-over.
4. Forget her dream.
I once had a talent that I practised every day. The last time I picked up a pencil and drew something was...about a year ago. Between work, parenthood, my social life, my husband's business and blogging, I don't have time for much and I'm ashamed o say it's been even longer since I set foot in a gallery, which was once my greatest passion.
5. Rush.
I am notoriously impatient and by rushing through or into things, I've made a lot of mistakes...and missed a lot of opportunities. Nothing to be proud of.
And three things that I did that I would openly encourage her to do...
1. Get out and away.
I didn't discover who I really was until I got away from everything. Because I left university early, I never really found that out, even moving out and in with a boyfriend taught me little (except how to survive being very poor)...it wasn't until a friend and I packed our bags, said goodbye to the places that we grew up in and the bad memories and went and explored. There were tears, there were arguments and there were some rough times but I made some fantastic, life-long and best friends, found out who I really was and met my husband. I worked seasonal jobs for two years and they were the best two years of my life. Whatever Moo chooses to do with her life, I would encourage her to get out of the place she grew up in and see something other than her doorstep. It may literally be the making of her.
2. Take risks.
Sure, they won't always pay off but she will learn from them and discover wonderful things.
3. Break a heart and have it done right back.
It's a humbling and unpleasant experience, but it needs to be done. Doesn't need to be a lover, could be a friend or family member...until someone has handed you your heart in pieces, you've not lived. In the same respect, you need to break a heart to learn strength, I think.
Clare
Labels: future, moo, parenting
