The first rule of Soft Play is don't talk about soft play...
...joking. The first rule is don't forget to pay. They're not fond of that.
Whilst I'm off getting jabbed with a needle and attending a wedding(not together I hasten to add), I'll leave you with my soft play rules, based on my own (often tragic) experiences.
Never put your hands in the ball pool. Never.
That slide probably isn't as strong as it looks. If it's creaking under the weight of a tall-for-their-age four-year-old you may want to give it a miss.
Big busted? Avoid the rollers. Repeat; avoid the rollers!! You have been warned. I don't care if your friend's little boy is stuck in the cobweb on the other side...it's not worth getting stuck. I promise.
Beware of the giant, swinging balls!
Accept that some mums just can't parent. So long as it's not you, there isn't an issue. If their seven-year-old wants to torment your three-year-old then encourage your child to walk away (even if you want to throttle the little so-and-so and his 'yummy mummy').
Smuggle in your own supplies. Juice. Cake. Carrot sticks. Wine. They'll never know if your surround yourself with bean bags...
That tunnel was not designed to take a woman with hips that have born a child (or three). Don't even try.
It's okay to send another child in to the rescue. That latte isn't going to drink itself, yknow...
And above all, remember...if you don't take socks, you'll have to wear the 'spare pair'. Ick.
Labels: humour, life, Soft play