There are so, so many social rules. Fashion, conversation, etiquette...all of which go out of the window if you are a lady with child.
There are many things that I personally wouldn't do if I weren't 'preggers', but because I am...it's suddenly acceptable. Here are my nine things that're a-okay during your nine months!
1. Wearing leggings as trousers.
Normally unacceptable for obvious foofi-viewing reasons (so nauseating) but a bump hides a multitude of sins and YOU try telling a heavily pregnant woman to wrestle into a pair of jeans...I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE STRETCHY, THEY'RE EVIL!!
2. Leaning over your dieting friends and loudly asking for another piece of cake.
Is it just my friends that all decided to transform themselves the same year I've spent the majority of it preggers? No? Good! Cake for you.
3. Being a wuss.
It's amazing how many people volunteer to do things when you have a bump. I don't really need your seat on the bus but hell yes I will have it if it's going. I don't remember the last time I made myself a sandwich.
4. Letting other people parent your child.
What's that? She's stuck on the rope bridge in soft play? Oh would you be a sweetie and help her? If I get in there, I'll never get out again... *evil chuckle, eats cake*.
5. Getting the bus...two stops.
What?! It was raining...
6. Having no shame.
Forgot to lock the door at Starbucks' toilets, man opens door, all I can muster is 'sorry...needed to pee'. Best friend was mortified...no longer returning calls and texts...
7. TMI.
Goes along with having no shame really. Did my work colleague need to know that at long last my lactose intolerance is working in my favour because it counteracted the pregnancy constipation? Probably not. Did I tell her anyway? Yes. Yes I did. At least she wasn't eating at the time.
8. Banning certain things from the kitchen.
If I can't eat chèvre, no one can.
9. Crying at everything.
Sad stories, the news, ducklings...anything and everything brings tears to your eyes. Embrace them and dry those suckers on the biggest slab of cake you can find!
Clare
(In case you hadn't noticed, I REALLY like cake).
Labels: list, pregnancy
